Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The (stupid) thing about healthy people...

Hello! So you may know that I'm not the healthiest person around.


So you may know that I'm not the healthiest person around.
I mean I am lazy, don't like anything that involves sweating, and I consume more diet Coke than humanly possible.
But you know what I dislike more than watching my diet, working out, and the like? It's the people that come with it. The whole bunch of health freaks who try to tell me how to live my life. And here are some things that they say that truly piss me off.

#1 "You must try it before you like it".

Okay. I know that looks can be deceiving when it comes to books, films, or even food. Yes I know that this bowl of chendol looks like some radioactive sludge that flubber would have defecated, but I accept that might actually be tasty beyond reason.

But you know, certain exercises like say, wrestling, will never be my cup of tea. I don't even have to try it to know! Like, wrestlers get sweaty. And they have to get each other into very compromising moves and hold them there.
(Via YouTube).

Hello, I can't even stand holding my own sweaty self in my one session of hot yoga, why would I enjoy clamping down on someone else's sweaty self?

Isn't it? But that's beside the point. The point is, sometimes I really know when I won't like something, and it's really not up to you to decide whether I should try it or not. If I have to make the effort to wake up, get out of the house, exert energy in moving around unnecessarily, then I have to decide that it's going to be worth my effort. Sorry, you don't get to do it for me.
(Via someecards).

#2 "This is how you need to eat."

So there are some healthy people who eat balanced meals, cut out junk food and you know, are generally sensible about what they ingest on a daily basis.
(Via Romper).

Which is fine. I totally understand. You are a dietary prude who doesn't want to expose your mouth to culinary vices like Korean fried chicken.
Which is all well and good. I respect your decision to eat healthy and I accept the fact that you might have a better chance of surviving I don't know, the plague.
(Via someecards).

But what I would appreciate is you respecting my decision to live a life which involves pouring copious amounts of alcohol down my oesophagus.
(Via Giphy).

Seriously though, society should evolve such that we don't shove our dietary beliefs down other people's throats. Shove burgers instead.
(Via Giphy).

#3 "You're eating too many carbs."

Okay so it's bad enough if you eat sensibly all the time and expect people to do the same. But you know what's worse? When people go on ridiculous diets that don't make any sense. Like the veggie soup diet, the juice cleanse, and the teatox. LIKE SERIOUSLY. HOW CAN THIS BE GOOD FOR YOU.
(Via Giphy).

Okay okay. I accept that you might lose weight. But STILL. It's because you're missing out on the good things in life. You know, like things that keep you sane and prevent you from spouting nonsense in public.
(Via Her Campus).

So one particular diet that I think is retarded is the no carb diet. I LOVE CARBS. Carbs are good and tasty.
(Via Her Campus).

And that's okay, personal oversight on your part to cut carbs out of your diet. But that's because you are being strange and weird. There's no reason for me to accompany you on your quest in becoming someone who shuns all the good things in life in false hope that it will make you a healthier and more wholesome person.
(Via Her Campus).

So you fad diet people out there, stop telling us normal ones that we're eating too many carbs. You're the ones who need a dietary overhaul, not us.
(Via Giphy).

#4 "I lost so much weight 10 years ago."

So sometimes you meet someone, and she's a perfectly nice person. Until she starts telling you about her inspirational life-changing weight loss story.
(Via Giphy).

And she goes on, and on, and on, and on. About how she never eats junk food now, how she is now has an almost unhealthy addiction to going to the gym, how sometimes she cheats and drinks coffee even though she really isn't supposed to... But heres' my question. DOES IT EVER END?
(Via Shemazing).

I mean, well, good for you. I'm very happy that you lost so much weight. But you are being very preachy about it. And also, that was a decade ago. You know what happened within 10 years? The world moved on.
(Via Giphy).

And you should too. So unless you have some mind-blowing update on your health status, or a revolutionary tip that you're guaranteed that I would like to know, then no thank you, I would rather not listen to an hour long session of outdated self-praise.
(Via Giphy).

#5 "That's so disgusting."

So there was this once when I was sitting at my desk eating some Doritos. I remember they were Doritos because I was thinking of the Hotel 626 campaign.

Anyway, so there I was, chomping on my Doritos and minding my own business when this idiot comes up, sits on my spare chair and goes...
(Via Giphy).

And I'm like..."Doritos?" And she goes...
(Via Giphy).

And then proceeds to tear apart my afternoon snack by telling me how many calories it has, about how much sodium it contains, and how much eating too much junk is bad for my skin.
(Via Giphy).

EH PLEASE. I was just sitting there having a fantastic time by myself. Why did you have to come over and not only ruin my moment with your presence, but also my afternoon by your preachy speech? I get it. You're on a diet. But you know what? I'M NOT AND IT'S FANTASTIC. You don't have to rain on my parade man.
(Via Imgur).

Okay I've come to the end of my post. So I guess the stupid thing about healthy people is their constant need of affirmation of their strange lifestyle and how they seem to attain it by judging my unhealthy eating habits and sedentary lifestyle. But hey! To each his own right?
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, here's a good song for you.

Happy rest of the week guys!

❤ Jac.

You Might Also Like