Friday, April 22, 2016

How to scare your boyfriend, and get him to thank you for it.

Hello guys! So you probably might possibly be interested in how my non-single life is going. I assume. Many people ask me about it. And I ...

Hello guys!

So you probably might possibly be interested in how my non-single life is going. I assume. Many people ask me about it. And I give them non-committal replies such as...

"I don't know. I can't really tell since we're drinking all the time."

"It's good. He buys Coke Light for me."

"Always very exciting! For example, we completed another jigsaw yesterday."

Yeah but really, this is what we spend most of our time doing...
Yeah we're very terrible people. But seriously, most of the time we're just looking for ways to torment each other.
Sorry. I wanted to make this collapsible but I have reached an age where technology and codes have started to befuddle be a bit. And also Blogspot...not the most friendly of hosts.  I DID IT MOTHERFUCKERS!
(Via Mashable).

So ANYWAY! Let me introduce you to one of my proudest moments yet in my history of tormenting James.
So we had just returned from Cambodia and I was feeling a bit restless. I was sitting in front of my laptop during lunch and scrolling through Facebook when I saw Melva post about Mr R's birthday. She bought him a Patrick foil balloon.
(Via Melva.SG).

So sweet right? Never in a gazillion years would I have thought of buying my boyfriend a balloon to surprise him on his birthday. What a good girlfriend Melva is.

And you know, a good girlfriend is always what I aspire to be. So on that very day, I decided to order a balloon for James. Like what Melva did for her boyfriend. I was extremely pleased with my idea!
(Via Gizmodo).

James doesn't like Patrick too much. But he does like Star Wars. So I decided to get him this wonderful Stormtrooper airwalker balloon.
(Via Tesco).

I needed it to be delivered to James' place on that very day. Because they say romance comes at the spur of the moment. I am not romantic and I did not want to lose this spur. But as my spur came too late for delivery to be arranged (and because I am too cheap to pay $40 for express delivery), I rushed down to Holland Village to collect my romantic gift after work.
(Via Buzzfeed).

I knew that the Stormtrooper was big, but I did not know that it would turn up BIGGER THAN ME. And here I was thinking I could take the MRT to James' place. Please. 
I couldn't even walk 50 meters without someone sneaking a photo of me. Anyway, I didn't know how I was going to go to James' place. I considered walking the whole way. Luckily, this taxi uncle stopped for me and was more than happy to take me and my Stormtrooper to James' place.
I did not correct him. I did however, ask if I could take a selfie and he said "Ok can no worries! Today is a special day for you!" He was right. I tipped him $5 for his intuition, and also for driving around with a bigass Stormtrooper floating in his back seat.
(Stormtrooper floating around the back seat and me in the lift).

So I reached James' place and let myself in. Melva had put her Patrick at the dinner table. My mother taught me not to anyhowly let people sit at the dinner table. But she didn't say anything about the bathroom. So that's where I put him.
Then, I set up my RE camera so that I could keep an eye on my Stormtrooper and make sure it didn't escape and waste my money. And yes. My mother also told me not to anyhowly take pictures of people's bedroom.
Then, James came home and asked why I had balanced the RE precariously on the edge of the headboard. He made me take it away. Damn it. Why did he have to switch on the light?! I had configured it such that I had a perfect view of the bathroom door!
So sadly there are no pictures of this, but you can trust my very accurate account of it. I was in the lounge pretending to watch TV when I heard a sudden shout of "JESUS CHRIST!" It was louder than any church congregation I know. I was extremely pleased. Surely James was thanking Jesus for what a wonderful girlfriend he has.
Tsk. I was wrong. James wasn't thanking Jesus after all. As it turns out, he was like, not thankful at all.
(Via Giphy).

So it transpired that James was shouting because scared out of his wits by a BALLOON. A BALLOON. Imagine that!
Anyway after scolding me, he went back into the bathroom. Then I heard a softer than before but still significant shout of "JESUS CHRIST" a second time. Apparently, James had forgotten that there was a Stormtrooper there, and had scared himself with it again.

Best $50 bucks I've spent in my life. I've since been having a whale of a time hiding the Stormtrooper in different locations around his house. Including over his bed, outside his front door, and at his lift landing. And the best part is, HE'S REINFLATABLE! When he starts to get all limp and wrinkly, just blow him up with a straw and he will be all nice and perky again.
He's lasted 3 weeks so far! As you can see, James is thrilled to have the Stormtrooper around.
Just you know, possibly not as much as me.
You can order your own Stormtrooper Airwalker for about $50+ at Balloons Delivery. All they need is a lead time of three hours, very efficient!

Okay and let me just leave you with a video of Lady Gaga's Applause. Because I am deserving of such.

And yes, James did thank me for scaring him. HAHA.
(Via Giphy).

Okay, time to sleep! TGIF guys!
❤ Jac.

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