Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I'm Single, Deal with It.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012Hello.
I had initially wanted to title this post "I'm single, fuck you". But I was afraid it might have given off the impression that that was the line I used when I was invited to a swingers party. So I rephrased it.
The reason why I'm writing this rather angsty post is sadly/happily, I'm single. Yeah, deal with it. I am dealing with it and I don't see why can't you.
So, let me share some irritating things that people like to ask/say to you upon hearing that you've broken up.
1. "I know I'm not the right person to ask, but...."
(Via Troll.me).
2. "Oh. But I liked XXX."
(Via bendingtheforce).
3. "Stay strong"/"Hang tough".
WTF. Seriously. Do you not think that I am capable of handling a break-up? Because of my wonderful ability to find love in hopeless places/ get together with the wrong people/ ruin relationships, I have trained myself to handle break-ups quite well thank you very much. Of course, getting through the previous one took lots of alcohol, tears and self-degradation, but we all learn, don't we?
(And to my credit, most people saw only the alcohol, and thank you Nessie, Cameron, Serene, James, Audrey, and Zixing for umm....let's call it hearing me out 3+ years ago.)
Also, hang tough. Really??!!! What does this phrase even mean? Do you even know? Because I really didn't. So I went onto Urban Dictionary.
And clearly you either think I'm the type to go running back to my ex-es, or that you support my very secret desire to morph into a black balding man with dreadlocks. Sorry, did my constant posting of black rapper music get you confused?
4. "When are you getting a new bf?"
Okay. I am very confused by this question which many people have been asking me. Have I missed out on the news of the opening of a new boyfriend-selling concept store? Because last I checked, getting a new bf isn't like buying clothes. You can't just decide it like "Okay, today I want to get a new tank top." then waltz into H&M to buy a tank top for $7 to make yourself look like an orange traffic cone. Fuck, it isn't even like wanting to buy a Chanel bag where you can say "Okay, its gonna cost me $4k. So, I think I'll save for 3 months before getting it."
HELLO THIS IS A BOYFRIEND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. IT IS NOT LIKE I CAN DECIDE WHEN I AM GOING TO MEET THE PSYCHOPATH WHO DECIDES THAT I AM THE ONE FOR HIM RIGHT??!!!
(Via Find Your Way in SG).
"So which one is the most value for money? Does Number 8 come in another colour?"
5. "Maybe you need time to find yourself."
What does this statement even mean? I am sitting in front of my laptop. Why do I need to find me when I was never lost in the first place.
(Via life-has-many-obstacles).
"Of course, FIND is not the first word that comes to mind."
"Jac, you are being picky. These people are just trying to make you feel better." Okay point taken. Let me share some acceptable things to do when you want to comfort a person who has just broken up. So you know, you can do it right the next time.
1. Give cookies.
(Via David & Goliath).
My colleague gave me some cookies she made. I had quite a good time eating them and pretending that I was the conqueror of all cookies.
2. Offer to take him/her drinking.
Whether this happens or not is not the point. The point is that alcohol, whether imaginary or real, always helps.
3. Come up with imaginary scenarios where everyone wins.
(Via Hark).
4. Use your EQ and say non-stupid things.
You don't need to do a lot of brain work to do this. Some fine examples of safe and idiot proof responses would be the "Oh no, what happened?" or the "Oh no, when?". If you are the slightly more daring sort, you can always go with the "I never liked him anyway."
I have also recently picked up a new phrase.
A very good line to respond to a Facebook status I feel.
Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for their concern. I'm slightly angsty but otherwise normal. And unless I tell you otherwise, I'm fine. Thank you.
Also, in my quest to populate my post with memes, I came across some good images that I wanted to share but didn't know where to dump them in the post. So I will just dump them here. Sharing is caring.
(Via DIYLOL).
(Via Business Insider).
And here is a good song that I would like to leave you with.
Okay this is all. Now I will go back to playing Words with Friends.
❤ Jac.
(PS: People who have just broken up are angsty and are entitled to one HATE-THE-WORLD post. Promise that my next post will be better and less emo-angsty.)
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