Friday, May 18, 2018

Guidelines for the Crazy Cat Couple (in the making).

Hey guys! So as you may have heard, WE GOT KITTENS! If you missed my previous post , they are long-legged munchkin kittens. Mushu is the ...

Hey guys!

So as you may have heard, WE GOT KITTENS!
If you missed my previous post, they are long-legged munchkin kittens. Mushu is the black long-haired male, and Mafan is the tortoiseshell short-haired female. Although they look very different, they are from the same litter. And THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE.
And I totally know that we are going to spoil these cats. I mean was barely a week after we got the kittens when we built them a freaking cat city.

You might realise that the cat city, or kitty castle are located in different places in the two photos. Well you see, we started out with having the cat city in the living room (right). Then, after James' family went back to Europe, we gave the cats their own bedroom (left). Complete with an ensuite bathroom. Because, why not? But well, better spoilt cats than spoilt children. *shrugs*

So I'm fully aware that there are crazy cat ladies out there, and that it's very likely that James and I are strong contenders for crazy cat couple of the year. But you know, it's good to draw the line between having people judge you for being crazy and having people want to kill you for being crazy. So, here are some guidelines that I intend to follow on my journey of pet ownership.

#1 I will not liken my cats to a kid.

So I'm aware that some people call their pets "furkids" and dote on them very very much. Some crazy people even give them their own bedrooms complete with ensuite toilets.

Now that's crazy, but still acceptable as you're not hurting anyone or anything apart from your own reputation. However, some idiots liken having a pet to raising a kid. Like I have heard ex-colleagues moan about the responsibilities of having kids and one ex-colleague going "Oh yeah I know what you mean. My dog ah...." EXCUSE ME AH. But pets and kids are very different. I mean. For one thing, my cats will always be cute. Kids are annoying. They shout, they scream, they cry, they fight, they whine, they throw tantrums. OMG. I can't. I mean this won't happen with my cats. My cats just meow when they are hungry or if the aircon is too cold. And that is super cute.

And I mean, they do fight. But their fights are non-consequential. Look at their fighting faces. SO CUTE. Not like children at all.
Also there is no expectation for my cats to go to school, do well in their studies, get a job and support themselves. I mean, I've been training them. It's been about two weeks and they can come when they are called, sit, and stay. This is already very good of course. But I'm Asian. I can't stop until they become Commander in General or something.
(Via Giphy).

#2 I will not cook especially for my cats.

So my cats, like all regular pet cats survive on a combination of dry food, wet food and treats. The dry food comes in a packet which resembles a mini-sack of rice, the wet food comes in cans, and the treats come in little ziplock bags. Which is you know, similar to my own food. Rice, canned food, snacks in ziplock bags.
Ok, this was taken in Oslo, so I had rye bread instead of rice. But there there is canned food and also food in resealable bags.

So what I don't get is when people cook elaborate meals for their pets. OK I ADMIT - I once cooked for my bloody betta fish. But that was because he was dying, and it was the only way to cure him. Also I mean, half a pea is not really cooking. It's more food preparation than anything.

Omg but I've seen people post photos of what they cook for their pets, which is fine if they cook for themselves as well. But when they just post pictures of what they cook for their cats and dogs when what they are eating is McDonalds' that's just sad la. Stop it. Cook for yourself before cooking for your pets. (Unless of course, your pet is sick or dying and needs your cooking)
(Via Giphy).

#3 I will not have parties for my cats.

I'm aware that some people have the tendency to throw lavish celebrations when their pets turn, I don't know? 1 day old? 2 months old? 70 minutes old? They seem to be throwing parties for their pets more often than I post on Facebook.
(Via Giphy).

And I get it. You want to spoil your pets and give them a treat and watch in satisfaction as they devour your cooking like no one else does. But why must you invite the whole world to your party? Like, if I were my cats, I would HATE a party filled with annoying people who keep trying to wake me up, pull me out of my cat castle, get me to do tricks, and manhandle me. Doesn't that sound like the worst experience ever?!

So I'm never going to put my cats through that. If they have a party, it will be with me and James. We will spoil them even more than usual (if that's even possible), and do fun things like sleep on the couch. Maybe have a cake. And because they are born on Christmas eve, maybe we will take a family photo under the Christmas tree. That's right. No one will get to manhandle my cats except for me.

#4 I will not dye my cats.

I'm a sucker for gimmicks and other frivolous stuff. Cat castle, cat wine, cat furniture, pet camera that dispenses treats? Got it, got it, got it, reading reviews. But what I don't understand is people dying their pets. Like so.
(Via Daily Mail).
(Via Daily Mail).

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. Look at my cats. They are so cute.
Why would you want to dye them ok? They look great as they are. So apparently this pet shop dyes them to make them look less boring. And it is not harmful. Excuse me, if you think your pet looks boring then clearly you are a terrible pet owner and you need counselling for wanting to dye them to look like a 6 legged creature ok. Dye your pets dye yourself la. I am very frivolous ok, but this is my boundary. I am against the dying of pets. It's very stupid and people who think that it's great need to reassess their contribution to the world.
(Via Giphy).

#5 I will not force you to look at a barrage of cat related media.

Unless you ask of course. Like there was this one time when I met a girl called Angel who had apparently picked up dance three months before she met me. Ok great. You can dance. She then proceeded to share how dancing is her life, her source of energy, yadayadayada.
(Via Giphy).

And then, she proceeded to show me her dance videos. Video after video after video. For context, we were trapped in a confined space, waiting for a mutual friend. I watched the bloody video of her first dance, her final dance of her dance module, her idol's dance, her practice dance. OMG every single dance there was. I watched. I was not very interested in watching, but oh my goodness was she interested in showing me her bloody videos. WHICH WERE NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE. Hello, pole dancer here. Not very good, BUT STILL BETTER THAN YOU BUT HAVE THE DECENCY TO KEEP MY LOUSY VIDEOS TO MYSELF. Urgh.
(Via Giphy).

Ok then there was another guy, Valentino. I met him on a cruise of the Norwegian fjords while James was at work. His friend ditched him because she was bored of him asking her what quinoa was or something. Anyway, Norwegian cruise. All I wanted to do was to sit there and look at the scenery. BUT DID I? No leh. I had to sit there with Valentino by my side, showing me all his stupid dance videos, from his first dance to his first choreographed dance. He had been dancing for 3 months (like Angel), and dancing was now his life (also like Angel). And did I care? No (as with Angel). He finally left me alone after the Norwegian air got too cold for him and he ventured into the cabin to hide. URGH. Dancers. They think they are so great, but don't really know how their videos look like to others.
(Via Giphy).

Similarly, although I think my cats are super cute, smart and well, better than any other cats. I recognise that forcing others to watch videos and look at photos of my cats can be annoying. So I will refrain unless someone asks. But my cats are good. Truly. LOOK AT THEM. (Also you chose to visit my blog, I did not force you to read it).
Looks like I'm not the only one who looks forward to Amazon Prime deliveries now.
And the mighty predator stalks his prey amongst a bed of pillows...

Okay and that's the end of my list. That being said, as a pet owner I will be super responsible and always love my cats to death. We already took them to the vet, clean their ears and also brush their teeth. They are very amicable cats. Apparently, according to James, we've stuck the cat jackpot. Although as an Asian, I think there is room for improvement. I mean it has been two weeks and all these cats do is come, sit and stay. Surely they should be doing some multiplication or something already.
(Via Giphy).

But no worries, they are after all, still kittens and we have many many years to ensure that they can become President or something. And now let me leave you with this great song. Okay actually more of a great video. Because #cat.

Happy Friday guys!
❤ Jac.

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