Wednesday, November 15, 2017

#DIY Halloween: The boring version where you don't leave the house.

Hello guys! So um, here's my post on Halloween which is about 2 weeks late because such is life. I used to LOVE Halloween because it...

Hello guys!

So um, here's my post on Halloween which is about 2 weeks late because such is life. I used to LOVE Halloween because it's that time of the year when no one judges my dressing. I mean like, I like shorts. What's wrong with that?
But Halloween has always been good - mostly me prancing around in slutty clothes without judgement, but let me remind you that I'm a changed person. Why, last year my outfits were not only hand made, but also covered like what? 50% of my body. Wow.
(I was dressed as my favourite drink, a venti non-fat sugar-free vanilla espresso frappe. And James was dressed as the barista who got the order wrong and added whipped cream. More here.)

I was very uninspired this year so we didn't have any DIY outfits, but what's Halloween if you don't live it up a little? So here's presenting....
So James and I didn't go out for Halloween this year, but that doesn't mean I didn't try to live it up on Halloween! For example, we did carve our own Jack O' Lanterns.
No, that's not the end result. That's the template that we drew. And yes — now you're totally aware of the limits of James' and my artistic abilities. But this was what we turned our pumpkins into!
And if you're born and raised in Singapore, you would most likely be impressed with our work. TBH, it's quite easy. You literally buy pumpkins, scoop out the inside, and carve whatever you want on the outside. It's really quite simple. The only downside is that if you have careless idiots like me around. That's how James ended up carving 1.75 pumpkins. I carved 0.25 pumpkins + 2 fingers. Wow the sink looked like a murder scene. Which is kinda in line with the Halloween theme I guess.
I would also like to say that that we were very proud of the end result. The truth is, the photos above were only just like, the intermittent result. The end result came two days later.
Yes it looks scary. But wait! There's more. Check out what happened inside.
There was so much mould. It was disgusting. So you know, if you plan to carve your pumpkin, store it in the fridge like what we did last year. 

Before:
 

After:

All all the shriveling, none of the mould. And it can last you for at least a good two weeks. 

And we also made our own Jello shots. Well, I say we. But what really happened was that I made a whole bunch of jello shots and made James consume them. Oh and when I say "shots", I do mean "shots".
So, here's how you do it!

#1 Buy some syringes.

So you need a medical-like vessel to store your jello shot. I scoured the net for like "jello shot syringes" and found a wide array of novelty syringes made just for the purpose of making jello shots, EZ-Inject, being one of the more popular brands.


Sadly, Amazon doesn't offer free shipping for these syringes, and I am a cheapskate who refuses to pay for shipping. So what did I do? I scoured the net for real syringes. I mean, medical supplies should be cheaper than novelty products right? So here's what I ended up with - ten sterile one-time use syringes from Nipro. $16 from Qoo10. And it says 50ml, but there are markings up to 60ml, which is 2 oz, the capacity of the jello shot syringes. So, value for money. 
But if 60ml isn't big enough for whatever copious amount of alcohol you're consuming. then I suggest that you get these giant hydroponic nutrient measuring syringes. Only $2.94 on Lazada!
Lazada also sells fake catheter bags for $2.33 - which is what I got as well. So you know, I amassed a rather large collection of plastic medical supplies. Now all I had to do was to fill them...

#2 Make alcoholic jello.

It's rather easy to make alcoholic jello (or jelly since I'm not American). You just have to buy some jelly crystals and mix water and alcohol in. I seem to remember that I used to use Tortally jelly crystals as a kid, but I can't find them anywhere now. But Giant sells this similar brand called "Tropical" which um, looks very similar. Anyway, it's 90 cents and we're going to add alcohol. So what's the difference really?

Anyway, if you're using either Tortally or Tropical jelly crystals what you have to do is to add one cup of hot water and mix it well.
After the crystals dissolve, mix in one cup of vodka. Yes, one cup. If you want your jelly to be less delicious, you can add less vodka, but you will have to top up the difference with water or you jelly will be too hard to pass through the syringe. Essentially, the magic formula is, 1 box of crystals, 1 cup hot water, 1 cup vodka/water.

#3 Fill up your syringes!

So time to fill up your syringes. Don't be a kuku like me ok. I started out by using my finger as a stopper and a teaspoon to spoon the jello in. After 2 minutes, I realised that I was being a retard and that I could use the syringe, AS A SYRINGE.
Sometimes...my brain just, does not work very well.

#4 Leave them to set.

I stood them in glasses and left them for about 20 minutes in the freezer. And then, that was it! They were done! 
You probably can't tell, but the first picture was pre-freeze and the second was post-freeze. Which leaves us with the final step.

#5 Consume.

Or in the spirit of Halloween, devour, which is a far creepier term. I suggest that you dress up to consume your jello shots. Makes it all the more fun.
Yeah in another life I would have been in the medical profession In a more realistic other life, I would be a digital artist. Please hire me and pay me a good salary. I can make you look beautiful while your enemies battle acne, warts, and gangrene.

Andddd....speaking of Photoshop, I made my annual Halloween profile picture. 
I had one with a blue filter and one without. I uploaded the one with the blue filter because my straw poll (James, my good friend, and my brother in law) said it was better. But on hindsight, maybe James said this one because he saw me working on it, and my brother-in-law gave a diplomatic answer. Good friend said this was better.
Thoughts? Anyway, Instagram was 50-50. Not that I minded. But the first few hours the poll was up it was pro-no filter all the way. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHICH IS BETTER. HAIYAH.
And here are some from the previous years. I still think the vampire one below is the best, save for the fact that I didn't drip blood of my fingers. But CB, I built a window this year ok. "A" for effort, not for effect.
Okay so I've come to the end of my post. In conclusion, the way old people who are trying to be hip spend Halloween by carving pumpkins that grow mouldy, making alcoholic drinks in medical equipment, and using Photoshop to make themselves look Halloween-happening.

I mean we DID make our annual pilgrimage to Halloween Horror Nights...
But we got tired of all the people who were milling around so at around 11 we gave our fast-passes to two sad girls sitting on the curb and went home. Like old people.

Okay so now you know what to do next Halloween! Or you can teach me how I can better spend next Halloween, up to you. Anyway, here's a song from Rihanna to end off. Because, old people don't know any scarier songs than this.


Okay end of blog post. Happy hump day people!
❤ Jac.

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