Saturday, July 08, 2017

Where are all the single guys?

Hello guys! So you know, once upon a time, I was a single angsty individual. Then I met James and everything changed. Now I am just angsty...

Hello guys!

So you know, once upon a time, I was a single angsty individual. Then I met James and everything changed. Now I am just angsty.
And although being single has it's benefits (no one will scold you for snacking in the middle of the night if you are the only one around), it's good not being single. I used to have so many problems when I was single - no one to share food with, no one to watch movies with, and worst of all, no one to sprawl on the couch with.
Life was terrible. I mean sure, I could do all those things alone, but some experiences are better shared. Besides, why should I eat disgusting soggy fries when all I want are the crispy ones?

Anyway, because I was a very unmarketable single loser, many people have come up to me to express their astonishment over the fact that I managed to find a guy who was able to put up with my nonsense on a daily basis, so much so that he even got conned into marrying me.
And they all ask me something along the lines of "How did you meet?" or "Where did you find him?" You know, questions that my either single or very KPO friends would typically ask. All of them just wanting to know where this special pool of single guys are so that they can finally also find a permanent plus one to take to weddings, and a permanent listening ear who goes "yes you're right", or some good fodder for gossip.

Well. Sorry to disappoint you guys, but James came from the same pool where you would expect all single guys to come from...
And you might think it's sketchy and weird, but hey! Let me tell you why Tinder is fine and where all the single guys are hiding. Let me explain why.

#1 Nice guys are weird.

So you may think the best way to find a guy is, I don't know. Asking your friends to introduce you to their single friends, or going to clubs and bars, or joining some recreation group. But here's what's wrong with this - your friend may not have the best matchmaking skills in the world, alcohol impairs your already poor judgement, and single people in recreation groups sometimes reek of desperation. How do I know this? Experience. Also when things get messy when things don't work out with your matchmaker friend's friend. 
(Via Society19).

Anyway, the single guys whom you notice at social gatherings are usually loud, extroverted people who throw their money at the bar and open lots of bottles of alcohol. We don't all want that. We don't want the obnoxious guy who is always trying to get the whole room to look at them. We want the nice guy. And nice guys are weird and strange and hard to find outdoors. Strange weird guys hide at home and watch YouTube videos and play video games.

And you know how these weird people meet girls? They try to do so in the comforts of their own homes, on Tinder. Go on Tinder to look for them.

#2 It's logically sound.

So many people are under the impression that the Tindersphere is a very sketchy space. I don't blame you...I've read my fair share of horror stories and terrible puns.

But Tinder makes a lot of sense. Let's say you want to meet a single guy, and maybe you go to a bar or one of those networking sessions for singles. You look around the room and find someone who is pleasing to the eye, maybe you talk to them, maybe they talk to you, and it's a bit awkward and sometimes you don't know what to say and so you just stand there awkwardly until one of you walks away.
(Via Giphy).

Or maybe it works out and you guys exchange numbers and decide to meet again.
(Via Bustle).

Which is great and all but wouldn't it be better if you didn't have to deal with the initial awkward stage of you know, going up to the person? And not standing in a bar and having to invest your time in just one person who may or may not be a creep when the love of your life might be standing just 2 meters away from him?
(Via Tumblr).

So Tinder is great because you can do all this from the comforts of your own home. It's exactly the same - you look at all the people around you and swipe right on the ones you find more aesthetically pleasing, you may or may not talk to them, but if you do you can then later decide whether to give them your number/ meet up. IT'S VERY LOGICAL. Same as a bar setting without the awkward bits. You will be sound(er) of mind because you don't have to deal with the stress with talking to people and sitting properly etc, you not be up to your eyeballs in alcohol (or maybe you will, to each his own), and it's more time efficient because you can talk to many people at once.
(Via Giphy).

AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, you can just unmatch them and digitally walk away forever (without the need to  awkwardness).

#3 Sketchy guys are everywhere.

Some people are quite against the idea of Tinder because, well, they've heard all the horror stories about it. It's full of sketchy guys looking for hookups.
(Via MUO).

But to be fair, these dodgy characters can be found everywhere! In offices, in schools, in universities, in clubs, in bars, and I bet some of your guys friends have used the same perve-y pick up lines on girls, and even you. My favourite was from one of my guy friends who sent me an audio recording of his voice.
"Are you from Jamaica? Because JA MAKING ME CRAZY!!!"
Siaotingtong. Anyway! As I was saying, if you want to find a nice guy, you might want to be willing to filter through all the rubbish-y guys first. Hello, your life is not a movie and the right guy won't just fall from the sky and land right in front of you. And also, even if your life were a movie, have you seen the trials and tribulations that the protagonists have to go through before finding their true loves?
(Via Giphy).

Yes so as I was saying, there are many good guys residing in Tinder, but you have to seek them out first. And for goodness sake, if you use your brains and common sense and apply what you learnt in school - you know, don't follow men into strange places, always let someone know where you're going, etc - then you should be fine.
(Via Giphy).

Stop being melodramatic.

Okay anyway guys, I'm not saying that Tinder is the only way to meet guy, but it's a good platform! I mean I have had my fair share of terrible dates...and terrible boyfriends, but somehow it all worked out in the end.

Not that I had downloaded Tinder specifically to find a husband. TBH, it was during CNY and I was tired of eating. So I was hiding in the bathroom and scrolling through various items on my phone. Sadly, it was all people posting pictures of food on Facebook and Instagram which my extremely full self could not deal with at that point in time. So I decided to download Tinder - and this is exactly what I looked like when my mother found me later, just before I dropped my phone into my face.
And that's how I met James. 

Okay now! I am going to help James build some bookshelves. But please entertain yourselves by watching this video of Tinderella.


Cheers,
❤ Jac.

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