Friday, June 23, 2017

Buy for your wife.

Hello guys! So as you know, I'm married now and that gives me the license to dispense advice on a lot of things - relationships, growi...

Hello guys!

So as you know, I'm married now and that gives me the license to dispense advice on a lot of things - relationships, growing up, managing expectations and so on. But not how to live your life - that's reserved for people who diet or people who have babies.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, some time last week, I was standing in line in Guardian Pharmacy (I was buying some a foot file, a callus remover and other pedicure related items, but that's a story for another day) when I overheard this annoying woman talking to her male colleague:
"I'm buying this lotion. Very good leh - one for one! You should also buy for your wife."
And then the guy said no, his wife wouldn't want it. And the woman was like,
"But it's very good leh, you see. And some more one for one!"
And the guy said no, his wife only uses some Japanese black sesame moisturiser which lasts her throughout the day, very effective blah blah blah, and I was thinking, KUDOS TO THIS GUY. James maybe only knows that I buy my moisturiser from Tangs because I drag him there whenever there's a sale. But I don't think he would be able to name the brand, or the colour of the bottle, let alone the ingredients.
(For reference: Clarins, White, and even I don't know the ingredients).

And you would think that this woman would give up. I mean, this man clearly knows his wife's skin care needs. But, then, some people are quite dense.
"Huh but you don't think she will appreciate if you buy something for her meh? Just buy la! It's good leh."
WOW. Anyway, after 5 minutes of her incessant whining, it was her turn to pay and her colleague finally managed to escape. But in this short span of time, whiny idiot inspired me to be helpful and put an informative and education article on...

#1 It is cheap.

PLEASE. Guys don't buy things for your wife because they are cheap. Guys buy them because they think that their wife will like them.
(Via Giphy).

I mean, I appreciate a very good bargain! I do! For example, I cannot resist a good sale on Coke Light. However, if James surprises me a bottle of regular Coke because it is like on 75% discount, I would seriously just walk away. I would rather he buy me the $50 bottle of Coke Light than the 5 cent bottle of regular Coke.
(Via Giphy).

Similarly, if your colleague's wife is only using some black sesame moisturiser, you should know damn well that she isn't going to use some other random moisturiser just because Guardian is selling it one for one. Maybe you would, but this guy is her husband ok. He should know better than you. Stop pretending that you know what's good for his wife.
(Via Giphy).

Also, girls. Everyone should know one of the first rules of shopping - cheap does not equal good. But even if it does....

#2 It is good.

Eh bloody hell, what sort of reason is, "It is good"? It is the kind of reason I give when I am doing something that I'm not really supposed to be doing.
Of course you think it's good. Why else would you buy it? Because it's bad?! I mean, even a lame reason like, "the packaging is pretty", is a better reason for you to buy something for your wife as compared to "it is good".
(Via Giphy).

And by the way, pointing to advertisements that say that the product is good, are just as bad. I mean, it's an advertisement. Do you really expect to see anything apart from positive stuff being written on advertisements?

#3 She will appreciate it if you buy something for her.

So I don't know why, but some girls clearly think that they are more in tune with their colleagues' wives as compared to their colleagues themselves. The husbands of these wives who committed themselves to these women for life. I don't know why. Does having similar reproductive systems automatically give you some kind of mysterious bond with someone else?
(Via Giphy).

#4 I am also buying it.

This is a very stupid reason for a guy to buy something for his wife. Can you imagine? This poor guy going home and saying to his wife...
He might as well just shoot himself in the head. Can you imagine the barrage of questions this poor guy will face?
"You bought it just because your colleague bought it?"
"Why is your colleague asking you to buy things?"
"Are you saying that I should be more like your colleague?"
Just a recipe for disaster. Unless you are a spokesperson of the brand or some famous celebrity, you buying a product isn't reason enough for someone else to buy the product. Get over yourself and go terrorise your own significant other with your inane shopping advice.

#5 She will like it.

No she won't. Unless your annoying colleague had previously interacted with your significant other, there is no way that she can know that your significant other will like this particular product.
(Via Giphy).

And even if she had met your annoying colleague and expressed some vague interest in this product, you don't know if she genuinely likes it or not! She could have been pretending. Why, I myself feign interest in things all the time, especially to avoid awkward situations and to fill silences include. Some of my conversation fillers include:
"Your dress is very nice."
"Where is your lipstick from?"
"Yes! I love Itti and Otto."
And then I went to Google what Itti and Otto was (I suspected they were a brand of shoes, but I had to make sure). And that's not the worse of it. Sometimes I even go out of my way to describe how much I like someone's outfit, when seriously all I want to do is scratch my eyeballs out.
(Via Tenor).

But you know, white lies are still preferable to telling them how awful their non-existent fashion sense is.

My point is, you cannot mistake someone's polite behaviour for admiration of your taste. So please girls, unless they ask for your advice, stop going around telling guys what to buy for their wives and girlfriends. Contrary to popular belief, they have brains and actually have a better inkling of what their partners like as compared to you.

Okay anyway! It's high time I go to sleep. But let me leave you with this great song.

TGIF guys! Have a good weekend!
❤ Jac.

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