Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Stag Do.

Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of updates last week but you know, I was busy prancing around in Hong Kong. So yes! I had a pretty good...

Hey guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates last week but you know, I was busy prancing around in Hong Kong.
So yes! I had a pretty good weekend. Going on holiday is always good. 

Anyway, I also had a pretty awesome time the weekend before that. You see, not to be outdone by my girl friends, my guy friends threw me a Stag Do! 
And from my previous post, you guys should already know how to throw a Bachelorette Party. So here's what you need for a Stag Do.

#1 Guys.

I know, I know. Guys are stupid, guys are dumb. But guys can be awesome at times. They give you lifts home, tell you you're pretty, buy you drinks, and also help you carry stuff.
Most importantly, if you're nice to them, they throw you a Stag Do when you're getting married!

Andrew, owner of The Belljar, offered to throw me a Stag Do when he heard that I was getting married. I didn't think that I'd be having a Hen's Party at that time, and Andrew wouldn't hear of me not having a party of some kind. So he came up with the idea of a Stag Do to celebrate all the fun times I've had with the guys.
And here are my guys clockwise from bottom left - Nick, Chris, Aaron, Andrew, and Johannes. 

#2 A Theme.

Okay I don't know what usually goes down at Stag Dos because you know, I'm a girl and this is probably the first and only Stag Do that I will ever attend in my life. But it seems to me that guys like themes. Girls like themes too. But our themes are usually, "black with a splash of pink". Which is fine. We like flexibility. But guys take it to a whole new level. Meet my suited up boyband otherwise known as "WONG DIRECTION".
Plus some penis props and minus Andrew who had a 3 am flight to catch, and also Chris' jacket which got lost in transition.

#3 A ride.

Guys love their cars. I mean, I also love cars. But the cars I love the best are the blue cars with green lights on top driven by drivers called "uncle".  Guys are different. They are a bit more discerning when it comes to choosing cars they like.
Me and a car I found in Jo's house many years ago and very unclassily demanded that I take a photo with it.
Me and another of Jo's cars which we took to a wedding. When I say we, I mean Jo drove me as I folded his pocket square using instructions from Wikihow.

So the guys got me a very good ride to chauffeur me around in. They got me, A PARTY BUS! And Jo wanted to make sure I liked the idea before he booked it (the weirdo - who wouldn't want a party bus?). So after getting my consent, he Googled "party bus Singapore" and called a guy. They were ready to pick us up in 15 minutes!
It was really fun! There was Spotify and we could choose all the trashy music that we wanted! The driver told us there wasn't alcohol available since it was after 10:30, but you know, that came as more of a plus point for me, the person who would be consuming the most alcohol of them all.
Looks like an underground bling KTV pub. I approve.

#4 Guy Stuff.

So when you have a Stag Do, it's essential that you do guy stuff. And wow did we do such manly stuff. The guys taught me how to smoke cigars! It was very exciting.
Cool photo by Chris.

And also very confusing. "Do not inhale it into your lungs. You must just keep puffing in an out". It took me and a lot of coaching from the guys. But I got it eventually. AND EVEN MANAGED TO LOOK COOL WHILE AT IT.
Photos and a lot of art direction by Nick T and Johannes. Also please note the Coke Zero that Andrew very kindly supplied me with ♥♥♥.

So, I can't remember what cigars I had that night (in my defence, I had a lot to drink), but the smoking the cigars made the Glenfarclas whisky taste smoother and sweeter. It's a very strange thing. I don't understand it. But if you want you can go to The Belljar to find out more. They have lots of whisky, a cigar room and everything you might want (including har cheong siew yoke, wtf).

Anyway, yes. Guys do manly macho things during Stag Nights. So even though you see girls dancing in their 7 inch heels at their Hen's Nights, the only girls who dance in 7 inch heels at Stag Dos are strippers.

#5 Alcohol.

Like a Hen's Night, A Stag Do involves some serious alcohol guzzling. For that, the guys took me to Chupitos! One of my favourite bars. On our second date there, me and James finished off one of every shot on the menu. We were very proud.
Also known as the day that James found out that girls who do not care that much about expensive food can still be expensive dates.

And the guys somehow seemed to know that I can consume quite a lot of alcohol. So on top of the many normal shots, penis shots, and fire in a skull shots...
The guys also got me the Little Man Fat Boy. Yeah yeah the name is cute, and so is the picture.
But the drink is truly intimidating. I don't actually know what is inside, but you basically finish a shot, drink a shot in a glass, and a shot in a jug. So you know, a lot of alcohol. AND I DID IT.
I am motherfucking Xena.

#6 More Guy Stuff.

So at a regular Stag Do, you get like a bunch of all guys. No girls and their oestrogen. Just guys and testosterone. And I guess my presence kind of diluted the concentration of testosterone in the air. But that's okay. I got help from the bartender to man up the Stag Do.
(Via Giphy).

So sometimes it pays to be the only girl with so many guys buying you drinks. The bartender will be like "Eh you all cannot make her drink by herself la," convince them to buy a round of shots for themselves while I rest from my Little Man Fat Boy, and offer to upgrade their normal shots to something else. And this was the something else he whipped up. As Chris put it...
Nope. Totally serious.

As you can tell, the guys didn't really know what to do with penises that were not their own.
But they are smart guys. They figured out eventually.
What?! As I said in a previous post on chocolate covered banana penises, guys need manly stuff. And what can possibly be manlier than penises? And as everyone know, a Stag Do needs lots and lots of guy stuff. I think the 4 penis drinks made up for my lack of testosterone quite nicely.

#7 Swag.

After drinking my entire body's weight worth of alcohol, we went to Capital! Yeah I also did not know where Capital was. Let me tell you. It's a club inside this place.
And it's been AGES since we've been to Zouk together. Zouk was where I met Aaron and Nick. Good times. Anyway Capital! It was extremely fun and we didn't have to queue. I had a great time walking past all the people in the queue. It is nice to see that Nick has not lost his touch at getting us into swanky clubs. 
Also in line with the theme of the night, Capital also happens to be an ultra-luxurious whisky and cigar bar. Not that I know what I drank after Jo got us all jagerbombs, but you know, it's nice to know that we could have continued our whisky and cigar binge after leaving The Belljar.
Anyway, I would like to thank my AWESOME Wong Direction guys for planning the night for me and for facilitating my drunken escapades. You guys rock! And I'm sorry girls, they are all taken. Except Chris (I think). He is single and hot. Girls, go for him! You may apply through me.

And here's a song to commemorate my Stag Do!

Cheers!
❤ Jac.

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