Thursday, July 14, 2016

The problem(s) with the world's most expensive meal...

Hello guys! So I don't know if you've been reading the news, but apparently it's now apparently desirable to take your signi...

Hello guys!

So I don't know if you've been reading the news, but apparently it's now apparently desirable to take your significant other out for obscenely expensive meals. Like the new $2 million dollar dinner, no, dining experience, that Ce La Vi just launched which has been covered extensively in the media, both local and foreign.

$2 million USD by the way, not $2 million IDR. Yeah. I know. It's insane. But everyone on Facebook has been posting about how they wouldn't mind going for this dinner, asking their partners to save up for their anniversary, or how they want to marry the person who brings them for this fantastic once-in-a-lifetime experience.
(Via Giphy).

And my question is, WHY?! Why do you want to go for this nonsensical experience? It doesn't make any sense to me. And let me tell you why.

#1. It costs $2 million.

Yeah I know. If someone buys you a $2 million meal, he must love you so very much, and surely there is nothing wrong with him.
(Via Giphy).

Eh. WAKE UP. He wants to spend $2 million dollars on something that will last for less than 24 hours unless you get a hangover from the alcohol or diarrhoea from the food. SURELY there is something wrong with him. If he wants to spend $2 million on this, he's not your dream guy. He's not romantic, just plain stupid.
(Via Giphy).

You know what I can buy with $2 million? MANY THINGS. Here are some of them. All of which will last me more than 24 hours.
(Via Mercedes AMG).
(Via Wales Online).

Yeah a Merc AMG with COE and money to spare, a mansion in the UK, an entire island in the Caribbean, or a 3 bedroom condo in Singapore. A whole range of products, all lasting for more than 24 hours.
(Via Giphy).

I know. Life is amazing.

#2 There's an 18 course meal.

I know,  I know. The food must be divine. The foodies in you are drawn towards the wonderful atas selection of food like the "fresh Belon oyster with champagne foam" and "Almas Caviar".
(Via Giphy).

But firstly, girls, it's 18 courses. When was the last time you ate a 10 course meal. Were you able to finish it without complaining that you were full? NEVER. So how do you think it's possible for anyone to actually enjoy eating all the items on the extremely extensive menu? It's a dinner menu, mind you. For evenings only. It's not a full day eating marathon.
(Via Giphy).

My conclusion is that anyone who wants to survive an 18 course meal will need to starve for 50 hours at least. And seriously, that would make any one so miserable. Why I would want to be miserable before my $2 million meal is beyond me.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Yeah 18 menu items sounds like a nice and posh idea. But seriously, it's really not if you think about it.

#3 The menu items.

I have no qualms about eating good food. But there is a limit beyond which all food taste the same really. I don't really give much credit to pretentious food critics who think that their taste and palate is all that. Because beyond a certain point, one good plate of nasi lemak tastes just as good as the other. There is no need for me to queue up for 2 hours in Changi Village when I can get something maybe just a few percentage points less good at a coffee shop near my house. I'd probably enjoy it more.

IMHO, hardly anything is worth 2 hours of queuing and it takes the joy out of whatever food I'm eating, no matter how good it is. Why I once broke up with a boy because he dragged me to Redhill Market to queue up for Yong Tau Foo in the middle of the night after I told him I wasn't hungry and I wanted to sleep.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, just take a look at some of the menu items here:
"Air-flown Alaska wild salmon and apple-wood grilled Mishima sirloin paired with world-class wines such as a 1988 Salon ‘S’ champagne, a 2008 Domaine Leflaive Chevalier-Montrachet Grand Cru, and a 1972 Oremus Tokaji AszĂș 5 Puttonyos".
(Via Giphy).

Ok. Very cool and swanky. But essentially steak, salmon and alcohol. Standard surf and turf. Why must you fork out $2 million for this? Also, surf and turf is very filling. Are you sure you can finish 17 more courses in addition to that?

#4 The Jane Seymour Diamond Ring.

I know. It's so nice. And makes it all worth it.

This ring was "created to celebrate the accomplishments of actress Jane Seymour and is pegged as the world’s only celebrity ring that is not pre-owned".
(Via Giphy).

Ok two things. First, if a guy gives me a ring, it better be because it is chosen for me, made for me, and was designed with me in mind. WTF, why would I want a ring which is made in celebration of someone else's achievements ok? Isn't it insane?
(Via Giphy).

And another thing. It's the only celebrity ring that is not pre-owned. So like, it was made in celebration of Jane Seymour and even she doesn't want to wear it. What does that tell you about the ring? SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH IT.  Duh. Why anyone would want your significant other to present you with someone else's castoffs is beyond me.
(Via Giphy).

Oh and just so you know, this is Jane Seymour.
(Via Cinema Blend).

Does she look like you? Do you idolise her? Do you want to own a ring made for her but she ultimately didn't wear? If you answered "yes" for all, then maybe you need that ring. Otherwise. you're batcrap crazy to even consider wanting someone else's expensive castoffs.
(Via Giphy).

#5 Custom-made designer chairs.

So here's where things get interesting. With the meal, you get
"Personalised engraved diamond-studded chopsticks to eat with and custom-made designer armchairs, fabricated by The Plush and ready to be taken back to the diners’ home, to complete the opulent experience."
Okay I can see why you might want some personalised diamond-studded chopsticks. Chopsticks can look pretty dope in your hair.
And chairs. Chairs are wonderful things. Especially if their big and good for curling up in.
(Via The Dodo).

All good and fine. I don't mind having a pair of customised chopsticks or a nice customised armchair to curl up in.
(Via Giphy).

So here's my question - which would you rather have customised? Choose one.

  1. Chopsticks
  2. Armchair
  3. Diamond ring
I know right? The answer is obviously c, diamond ring. What sort of lunatic would want her significant other to present her with a customised CHAIR.
(Via Giphy).

So yes, and this concludes my thoughts on the world's most expensive meal. It's ridiculous. The end. Oh also here is a song for you to enjoy.



TGIF guys!
❤ Jac.

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