Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Happy International Women's Day: Perks about being a Woman.

Hi guys! So I logged onto Facebook to discover that it's International Women's Day! (I'm a day late in posting this. Kind...

Hi guys!

So I logged onto Facebook to discover that it's International Women's Day!

(I'm a day late in posting this. Kindly change the necessary words to past tense.)

So I felt obligated rewrite a blog post on this because you know, I am a woman. Even though this means that I spend most of my time silencing my little girl demands in my head.
Yup. That's what I'm doing when you see me talking on the phone. Either finding an excuse to ignore you, or trying to reason with that inner voice in my head. Anyway! I thought that it was very interesting that Facebook is calling for equality for women worldwide. Because I quite like the additional perks that I get just because I was born with 2 X chromosomes instead of one.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Ok, but for all you oversensitive people out there, I would like to qualify that I'm aware of gender inequality and I'm all for equal education and job opportunities, and having a say in politics etc. But if my blog post was on deep socio-political issues affecting life as we know it, I would be succumbing to social pressure to churn out pseudo-intellectual posts instead of frivolous nonsense. Which would not be true to myself and whitewashing my personality. So there.

#1 Ladies' Night

This is probably one of the most wonderful perks of being a female. It's the perfect opportunity to be a kick-ass independent woman who doesn't need guys to pay for what she wants. BECAUSE IT'S FREE ANYWAY.
(Via Imgur).

Sorry. I love my alcohol. And I especially love it when it's free. And when I'm privvy to this exclusive free alcohol.
(Via Brice Sander).

Like on Ladies' Night. Free flow alcohol because I have a vagina? What's there not to love?!
(Via Wifflegif).

#2 PMS

So, I would like to start by sending my deepest sympathies to all the females out there who get all moody and cramps during their period. Because, how should I put it?

But I would like to thank you for suffering on behalf of the rest of us. Because I am sometimes a very lazy person. And there is only so many times that your hamster dies in a month before people start to realise that you didn't even have a hamster to start with in the first place.
(Via Giphy).

So, PMS is a great excuse to use when you want to ditch your guy friends.

And suddenly guys become all nice and understanding. Wow. And I go and take my vodka and plonk in front of my computer for a nice evening of Bones or Big Bang Theory.
(Via Giphy).

PMS. Great excuse.

#3 Heels

I know I know. Heels are impractical. They strain all sorts of tendons and muscles in your legs, give you blisters, and are ultimately bad for your posture.
(Via Buzzfeed).

But! They are such a good alternative to bringing weapons on a plane. Just think about it! Annoying pervert sitting next to you? PUNCTURE HIS FOOT BY ACCIDENTALLY STEPPING ON HIM WITH YOUR STILETTO HEEL. That's right. Watch him suffer.
(Via Imgur).

On a happier note, heels can give you that additional storage space you need to sneak miniatures into clubs.
(Via USA Today).

What?! I was once a poor student.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Plus! Heels look pretty and they make me taller than everyone else! Which is great!
(Via Cosmopolitan).

Also, you can buy heels with the secret storage compartment from Double Agent Shoes. You're welcome.

#4 Skirts

No not the cuts of beef that are served to you for dinner. I mean these marvellous items of clothing. Like this grass skirt here.
(Via Wifflegif).

I love skirts. They are nice and airy and especially good in a hot climate like Singapore. They allow a cooling breeze to be introduced to areas which would otherwise be let without ventilation.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Also, while my favourite clothing item is actually shorts, some establishments, goodness knows why, insist on imposing a dress code which forbids such a wonderful piece of clothing. But it's okay if you're a girl. Because you can get away with wearing a skirt of a similar length or short as your shorts.

Guys just have to sweat it out in their jeans and pants. Or become Scottish.

#5 Makeup

Okay. So I'm not the biggest fan of makeup. I don't usually wear that much of it. Usually because I have the makeup application skills of a drunk fish.
(Via Buzzfeed).

But needless to say, makeup is still a very handy tool, especially when you have a spot. Or many spots.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Very effective. Or if you want to glam yourself up for that special night, you can always rely on makeup to give you that much needed edge over the other girls.
(Via Buzzfeed).

And of course, if you ever need to fake cry, what better way to do it then to make your makeup run all over your face?
(Via Buzzfeed).

But you know, regular guys don't get to do all this without getting loads of teasing from their sisters/ girlfriends/ friends/ mother. Thankfully, us girls have no qualms with just going to Sephora and "experimenting" with concealers to find out which shade best covers your dark spots on a fairly regular basis.

#7 Hair

And no I'm not referring to the hair that grows from our heads. I'm referring to facial hair.
(Via Rebloggy).

How can you put up with hair sprouting from your chin and upper lip?! How do you prevent food from constantly getting stuck there?! Why, it must feel like you're living with a potential vermin breeding ground attached to your chin.

And I guess that you can shave everyday. But seriously? Shaving in the morning? I can barely get up without falling over in the morning. How do you think I'd fare with a blade?
(Via Giphy).

Not very well I'd reckon. So it's a really good thing that I was born a girl with a nice smooth chin save for the times I get spots.

Anyway! I've come to the end of my post. I was supposed to post this yesterday but I was too busy watching not blogging. So it's a day late. But it's okay, posting it one day late makes me unique and is indicative of my don't-carish personality which nothing will suppress.
(Via Giphy).

And here's a song for you.


❤ Jac.

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