Sunday, January 17, 2016

10 New Year Resolutions Interpreted.

Hello guys! So I guess by now you've seen the countless posts on Facebook and Instagram (who uses Twitter?) on your friends' many ...

Hello guys!

So I guess by now you've seen the countless posts on Facebook and Instagram (who uses Twitter?) on your friends' many new year resolutions. Some are realistic, some are inspiring, some are idiotic, and some are just plain WTF.

(Via Giphy).

Yeah. And some just leave you wondering what goes on in those pretty little heads of the people whom you call your Facebook friends.
(Via someecards).

But it's okay. I have thought long and hard about this and I have come up with insightful interpretations of your friends' new year resolutions.

#1 Generate conversations online.

So yeah. You want to be a conversation starter. You want to encourage meaningful discussions on topics that matter. On politics, psychology, and other important issues which have three or more syllables to them.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Please. You just want to post things which attract more likes which and will hopefully propel you to social media stardom.
(Via Buzzfeed).

#2 Be more active.

Yes you are sick of being cooped up indoors and staring at the computer screen. You want to do yoga. You want to do pilates. You want to dance. You want to spin. You want to work.
(Via MTV).

You want to take more selfies in front of the gym mirror.
(Via Gifsoup).

#4 Stop wasting calories.

It's such a pain when you ingest calorie-laden food that you don't really appreciate. But you continue to eat anyway because well, it's there. What a waste of calories better spent on other kinds of tasty food. From now on, only food that is worth eating.
(Via Giphy).

What you want to do is actually to eat at hipster cafe serving food which looks good on Instagram.

#5 Travel more.

You want to travel, explore, get lost, wander, see the world, get inspired, learn about other cultures.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Please, like the post above, you want to take pretty photos to post on Instagram, accompanied with those god awful inspirational quotes which actually do nothing but annoy others.
(Via Reddit).

#6 Be selfish.

You have not enough me time. You're too giving. You feel the need to restrict the amount of attention that you pay to others and redirect that time to yourself.
(Via Hollywood).

You are sad and lonely and need attention. Or you hate your friends and want an excuse to not hang out with them. Either one.
(Via Imgur).

#7 Cut ties with toxic friends.

Yeah I know. You have so many friends and it's such a pain to hang out with them allllll. You have changed and evolved over the years and become a better person but your friends are still stuck in secondary school.
(Via Wifflegif).

Please. Who announces that the friends that they hang out with are toxic on Facebook? You probably just want to find different friends because your current friends think you're strange and weird.
(Via Buzzfeed).

#8 Be smart with your money.

You need to rethink your priorities on what you spend your money on. You need to learn to invest. You need to save. You need to stop shopping. You're broke.
(Via Her Campus).

You see your thousandaire friends with their new houses, cars, babies and getting all settled and you start to question the meaning of your life.

#9 Be comfortable with yourself.

You're overwhelmed with self-loathing. You want to accept yourself for who you are. You want to be okay with spending time alone. You want to love yourself.
(Via Rebloggy).

You are lazy to change your lifestyle and there's no one who's willing to listen to you whine.
(Via Gifwave).

#10 Lead a healthy lifestyle.

Yeah yeah. We know you want to become fitter. It's probably because as you say, you feel very unhealthy and you should do something about it. Or you feel that you feel tired easily. Or you look like you've aged. Or you read an inspiring article.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Oh don't kid yourself. You think you're fat and just want to look hot, sexy, and also good naked.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So yes that's kind of it. And I know what you're thinking...
"Eh Jac. Talk so much. What about you? Do you have any resolutions?"
"Yeah of course. Maintain my cool when talking to idiots and not lash out when they annoy me. Same as always."
Yeah but anyway, I don't usually make resolutions, I'm terrible at setting my mind to things. I always think that I should do something, but I never get around to it. Or I try and I stop. For more examples you can refer to my 2015 post on...
Post here. Well but if you really want to know my resolution, here it is.

And here's a good video for you. Okay actually I haven't watched the video. But the song is good.

❤ Jac.

Edit: Smith has pointed out that I am missing a point 3. You see? It's a good thing that I didn't resolve not to be careless or something like that.

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