Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Things I hate about modern day parents.

Hello guys! So recently a lot of my friends are having babies. Which is fine. I love babies. Look at this baby? Isn't she cute?

Hello guys!

So recently a lot of my friends are having babies. Which is fine. I love babies. Look at this baby? Isn't she cute?
Yeah I know. It's really hard to dislike babies after looking at this bundle of joy right here. But you who makes me cringe? The parents of these babies and let me tell you why.

#1 When they create FB profiles for their kids.

(Via Buzzfeed).

What do you think will happen? That they will proudly take over the Facebook profile you created which is filled with their overly sappy, overly zealous gushing over you as a kid?!
(Via ezgif).

Yeah. They'd love that. Foundation for being part of the cool gang and stuff.

#2 When they baby talk on Facebook.

Excuse me. Why do you insist on baby talking on Facebook?! It's ridiculous!! Ok I can see why you might want to do it in private with you baby. But on social media?! Did you expel your ability to write coherently at the same time that you gave birth to your baby?!
(Via Mashable).

Come on your baby can’t read. BUT I CAN.
(Via MTV).

AND I HATE IT. Classic example of using the wrong platform to such your target audience. Sorry parents. But you do know that your Facebook is filled with judgemental people right?
(Via someecards).

#3 When they pretend their kids can talk and put words into their mouths.

No. Sorry. Your kid did not just say that. Your kid probably just made a bunch of random sounds or stared at you blankly. But you thought that it would be a hoot-and-a-half to make some clever-assed caption where your baby speaks to your friends on Facebook.
(Via Imgur. Also I know it's a kitten. Pretend that it's a baby ok?)

Come on. I can barely deal with listening to you go on and on about your baby. What makes you think that I have the patience or the magnanimity to read stuff that you think that your baby would say?!
Keesiao. Yeah. That's right. You know I'm serious when I start employing the use of Hokkien.

Your baby can't speak. BUT YOU CAN. Speak for yourself instead of using your baby to announce your feelings man. Unless he/she can string words together and can independently construct empowering messages of course. Then that's different.

#4 When they give their kids weird names.

Ok. I know you want your kid to be special and that you think that giving him/her a really exotic name will give him/her that extra boost to make it in the world.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Well, stop. You're wrong. They just get confused. And also I've never seen a President whose name was Bowchickawowow McDonalds Tan. 
(Via Genius).

It's stupid. Give them regular names. Your kid has enough potential problems to deal with in the future - homework, exams, acne, fitting in...why would you want to add the burden of having a stupid name that's hard to pronounce and easy to make fun of to the list?! 
(Via Buzzfeed).

Seriously guys. Get your act together. Naming your kid hashtag only reflects on your mental capabilities. Or lack thereof.
(Via UPI).

OMG. Just #OMG. Also Zel, your name is not counted because I like you and also I secretly think it's cool. Well. Not so secret anymore.

#5 When they make Facebook albums with baby collages.

So yes. I totally get that you want to post pictures of your baby online. I actually quite like browsing through pictures of babies. They are mostly extremely cute and I get very amused looking through them. 

But you know what I can't stand?! When people make countless collages of photos in frames and put lots of hearts around them. WHY. It's so unnecessary. Your baby is cute enough on its own. Or do you not think so?
(Via Buzzfeed).

Neoprints died together with the Gameboy and the Nokia 3310. So just, stop.
(Via I Do LOL).

And yes, annoying Facebook couple. This goes out to you too.

#6 When they continually talk about problems they have with their baby.

I understand that parenting is a very tough job. My mom has taken it upon herself to remind me everyday.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So yes I know, raising a kid is no walk in the park. BUT EH. You should not be flooding your Facebook with constant status updates on how your baby is doing. I DON'T CARE. 
(Via Gifrific).

Don’t blame the baby. Maybe it’s you.

#7 When, TMI.

(Via Buzzfeed).

I know you're very proud of your kid and in a perfect world everyone would be so very interested in listening to your wonderful tales of toilet training triumph. But seriously, TMI. No one is the least bit interested in the colour of your kid's puke, the extent of the stretch marks on your legs, or the vivid descriptions of your baby's cradle cap.
(Via Buzzfeed).

TMbloodyI man.
(Via Giphy).

Anyhow! I have a nephew now! And hahahahaha funny story. His name is Matthew. And so far all he has done is to make me scared whilst carrying him, and also allow him to punch me.
So I really look forward to this baby growing up. I've got grand plans to win his love through lots of gifts since he's clearing not very receptive to my displays of affection.

And here's a good song that I truly like very much. I'm putting this song here not because I hope that Matthew grows up to be a gangster, but because I hope to watch Dangerous Minds, the movie that the song comes from. And if keep it in my head I will forget, and if I put it here James might remember.

And now I'm off to sleep! Goodnight!
❤ Jac.

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  1. Lol'ed at this post! #4 is especially true - some names are plain pretentious, some are ridiculous. I almost feel bad for the poor kid who's going to grow up and be made fun of friends for being called Loh Mai Kai or something.