Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Jac's Ideal Christmas Tree.

Hello! Christmas is coming! Time to tech the halls and put a polycarbonate Warren Worthington III on the Christmas tree! (Via  Buzzf...

Hello!

Christmas is coming! Time to tech the halls and put a polycarbonate Warren Worthington III on the Christmas tree!
(Via Buzzfeed).

Sorry, I know I used that line in a recent article for Geek Crusade (read here), but you don't know how proud I am of that line. I like to reuse my jokes. I'm becoming old.
(Via Buzzfeed).

And speaking of Christmas trees, I've always wanted to decorate one of my own. My mother never let me curate my own tree. But you know, one can always dream. I don't know what's she's so worried about - it's not like my Christmas tree will be full of tacky decorations and end up being one of the worst Christmas trees in all of Christmas tree history.
(Via The Gloss).

But one can only dream of making history. Anyway! I've been planning what I'd like to put on my personal Christmas tree for quite some time, and I thought I'd share it with you. Because I have no one else to share it with and everyone is very dismissive of my wonderful Christmas tree idea.

#1 Diet Coke Ornaments

I love Coke Light. Or Diet Coke as they call it in USA. Coke Light is my life.
So I guess it only makes sense that I adorn my Christmas tree with lots and lots of Coke Light. I mean that's kind of the point of Christmas trees right? To fill them with stuff that put you in a nice and cheery mood for the holidays?
The Coke Light Bottle and Can ornaments are available on Amazon for $5.99 and $10.65 respectively.

#2 Hallmark Star Wars Special Edition Resin Ornaments

And I also love Star Wars. So it'll be extremely good if my Christmas tree could also be home to many beloved Star Wars characters.
(Via Think Geek).

Look! Don't you think that they add so much character (get it get it?) to an otherwise bleak looking tree?
(Via Think Geek).

The Think Geek website says that you can "choose C-3PO, Darth Vader, Kylo Ren, or R2-D2". Madness. What's there to choose from? Clearly I need them all.

Extremely plausible at a price of $5.99 each.

#3 Hallmark Star Wars Special Edition Blown Glass Ornaments.

You no what's missing from the Star Wars ornaments above? That's right. A STORMTROOPER. I like Stormtroopers. See my new hairbrush?
Yes it's an awesome hairbrush. And yes that's me - I believe the word you are looking for is breathtakingly beautiful.
(Via ReactionGIF).

Anyway back to Stormtroopers. You cannot say that your Christmas tree has Star Wars ornaments without having at least one Stormtrooper in it.
(Via Think Geek).

Apparently forged from glass fused from the sands of Tattooine. I think the idea is to get one Darth Vader and an army of Stormtroopers. What do you think? I think it's a rather good idea. $7.99 per Stormtrooper helmet.

#4 Starbucks Fun Sized Ornaments.

I also like coffee. I really do! Especially Starbucks coffee. I tried to learn how to make my own Starbucks coffee once upon a time.
But then I gave up and decided to pay for my coffee because I realised that I would have to learn how to make many different drinks and not just my own.
Look at the amount of concentration on her face as she pours hot water into that drippy filter thing. I cannot. My tall non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte self cannot be asked to make complicated drinks for other people.
(Via HexJam).

Anyway! I thought it would be good for me to pay tribute to Starbucks by decorating my imaginary tree with Starbucks ornaments. And also because they are cute.
(Via Starbucks).

And this one even has an LED light within so that it can twinkle like the north star which (insert Biblical reference here).
(Via Starbucks).

I also would buy these but I really don't like whipped cream.
(Via Starbucks).

$10.90 for the regular ornaments and $13.90 for the one which shines bright like a diamond.

#5 Diet Coke String Lights.

Well, I know that I already had some Diet Coke ornaments on my potential Christmas tree. But you know what they say - the more the merrier. And Christmas really is the time to be merry. That's why they call it "Merry Christmas" right?

So you know what should go onto my tree? DIET COKE STRING LIGHTS.
(Via Amazon).

And they will light up my Christmas tree in symbolism of how Coke Light lights up my life for just $18.70.

#6 Star Wars Stormtrooper String Lights

AND BECAUSE THE MORE THE MERRIER AN ENTIRE ARMY OF STORMTROOPERS WILL BE ENCIRCLING MY CHRISTMAS TREE BECAUSE I SAID SO.
(Via Think Geek).

Only $19.99 okay. More Stormtroopers. With light. Why wouldn't you want this. Also more economical than getting many of the $7.99 Stormtroopers. Anyway, more Stormtroopers = more epic Christmas tree.

(Sorry I know I'm not being very coherent but somewhere along here my computer died and I had to reformat it. For more information, please click here).

#7 Mini Bottle Ornaments.

You know what makes Christmas special? The Christmas spirit of course.
(Via Buzzfeed).

And I'm a huge fan of these spirits. Why. I shifted some of my alcohol collection to James' freezer and now his freezer looks like this...
Actually there was more but we drank it up. But yes. Because of my love for spirits, it's only fair that I dedicate a portion of my tree to some bottles of alcohol.
(Via Etsy).

Doesn't it make you feel so warm and festive? Doesn't it just fill you with the Christmas spirit? Interestingly, the prices of the ornaments are tagged to the actual price of the alcohol IRL.
Get them all, and also more from BoozyChristmas.

#8 Cadbury Chocolate Ornaments.

I love chocolate. It's great! If it was up to me, I'd eat chocolate day in and day out. I love chocolate!
(Via Buzzfeed).


But sadly, gorging on chocolate day in and day out can be detrimental to your health. But when it's Christmas, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing! So I will engulf my Christmas tree with lots and lots of Cadbury chocolate ornaments.


(Via Cadbury and Wilko).

Don't they just deserve a place in your heart, tree and stomach?

Pinch the chocolates off the tree whenever you get hungry. Your tree will be the best ever. Why?

Chocolate Santa costs about $3 for a pack of 5, the Cadbury Milk Tree decorations cost about $3 for a pack of 9, and an Oreo ball costs about $6 (according to Wilko).

#9 Security Camera.

My Christmas tree which will be swathed in all things awesome and good will surely be the target of thieves, robbers, and other baddies who are up to no good. It's hence essential for me to keep a watchful eye on my tree. With a security camera that's linked to my phone.
(Via Challenger).

I chose this nifty black one from Prolink because I figured that it'll be able to camouflage better with my tree. Another good thing is that you can monitor activity around your tree from your phone! So you can rush home immediately if you see anyone trying to steal your Cadbury mini Santas.
That's right I'm watching you.

$59 for the welfare of my tree. I'd say that's more than worth it.

#10 Angel.

All Christmas trees need to have an Angel on the very top. What?! Don't look at me like that. I'm a very traditional person who's a stickler for rules and convention.
(Via Buzzfeed).

And here's the angel that will top my Christmas tree!
Just kidding. Although my impeccable looks and boundless beauty would make me quite the perfect angel, I'm far to heavy to perch on top of a Christmas tree. Most of this weight it the weight of the world which I carry on my shoulders of course. With great power comes great responsibility. In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Why so serious? Hasta la vista baby. Yes, you have to be a superhero in order to have an encyclopedia's worth of superhero quotes in your brain.
(Via Buzzfeed).

So here's my Angel!
(Via YouTube).

Yes! Warren Worthington III! Only $284 if you can find it. Sorry I really like X-Men. You have no idea.

Yes I know it's kinda hard to picture what my Christmas tree will look like because many people aren't visionaries like myself. But no worries! I have done up a little animated something to help you out, you dull uninspired people.
What do you think?!! All it needs is some presents at the base and it will be the world's most awesome tree ever!!
(Via The FW).

Okay and now I will leave you with my favourite Christmas song which of course has Flo Rida in it.


Cheers!
❤ Jac.

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