Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Why I Find Some Couples Annoying.

Hello guys!

Hello guys!

Yes yes, that's what they call 11/11 in my neck of the woods. You may think that it's Pepero Day or something, but truly it isn't. Because you know, I don't live in Korea and I also don't live on Pepero. If there was a Coke Light day I would endorse and participate in it with much gusto.
Yes. That's my face of gusto. And also my hair of hay. I hope you like them both. Anyway! Singles Day is something I hold close to heart. Because you know, life is such. And also because of the ASOS sale. ASOS gets me man.

You're welcome. #don'tsaybojio.

So anyway, last year I blogged about how to break up with your significant other. This year I will tell you about the annoying things about couples in a relationship. Because they annoy me and I hope death on some of them.

#1 Relationship advice.

So you know once some people get into a comfortable relationship, they feel like it's their duty to help other people find love. And so they try to give the most useless advice to single people.
Find love my ass. They should work on finding their brains first. And for the record, I have tried Tinder and I have also uninstalled it, I don't need to find myself as I am not lost, I don't care about fish in the sea - only fish on my plate, I don't need to put myself out there - where is there and is it some kind of adoption drive? And thank you for thinking that I'm pretty. Clearly, being pretty isn't a pre-requisite for finding true love.
(Via Popsugar).

Sorry. I've been alone for too long. It's been affecting my character.
(Via Buzzfeed).

#2 PDA.

So hey, I know that you've found the love of your life and you can't get your hands of him/her. BUT REALLY?! Must you really do all these sickly-sweet things in public?
(Via Giphy).

Not that I have anything against you and your partner wanting to make babies. I am all for increasing the TFR in Singapore. But seriously, NOT IN THE MRT, NOT ON THE ESCALATOR, AND NOT IN MY FACE.
(Via Giphy).

#3 PDA on social media.

Okay you know what I hate more than people kissing in front of me? People photographing their moments of intimacy and posting them online. Where they appear. RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF MY INSTAGRAM FEED.
(Via wrighty_).

Okay I know that this is some engagement shot but still....doesn't have to be a kissing one. But if it makes you feel better, pretend that it's some random kissing selfie. I'm sure you know people who just spam your feed with such things all the freaking time.
(Via Giphy).

Anyway, why are you taking a selfie of you kissing?! I mean like I can understand if it's some tasteful wedding shot. Or if it's like you kissing some famous person. Or even if it's you kissing your baby ok. BUT IF YOUR BABY IS LIKE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, PLEASE, I DON'T HAVE TO SEE IT. Kiss them in the bedroom. And try not to take a photo of it. I don't need to see your #AfterSex selfies and what not.
(Via Buzzfeed).

#4 Being Mushy.

Yeah so I have no problems with people declaring their love for each other. I get it. Love is powerful. I am an advocate for public declarations of love.
But when couples start becoming mushy in front of me, baby talking, gazing into each others eyes, and whispering sweet nothings into each others ears....

We get it. You love each other and can barely spend 5 minutes apart. Why don't you send text messages or emails?! Or do this at home. Far beyond my line of sight and range of hearing. I know you feel the need to express your love for each other. But NEWSFLASH!
(Via Giphy).

And this knowledge is also transferable to Facebook and other social media platforms of course.
(Via Funny Junk).

No, just. No.
(Via Buzzfeed).

#5 Using Pet Names.

Unless used in the context of referring to domesticated animals, I am not in favour of using pet names. I HATE IT.
(Via Picslist).

I had one ex who used to call me "darrrrlinggg". And I hated it. So I have forbade everyone I know from calling me darling. And then I had another ex who got upset that I didn't let him call me darling. EXCUSE ME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY NAME?! IT'S PERFECTLY FINE.
(Via Buzzfeed).

Why must people invent stupid names to address each other with?! I don't understand! Does it make them feel more special? The only thing it does is to subject them to ridicule. But I don't know. Parents are stupid these days. Maybe their parents gave them horrible stupid unpronounceable names. Like "jkfdnalkfmaekmf" or "aenjnaekjenajef". Yup. I can see why pet names would be more convenient then.

#6 Wearing couple outfits.

Okay so I understand that sometimes people end up wearing the same outfits. Why there have been more than a couple of instances where I've turned up at work wearing the exact same outfit as two or more colleagues. Yeah I know. It's sad. It goes to show how much I depend on mainstream labels to determine my wardrobe, how limited my closet is, but mostly how much I can't be bothered to dress up. So you know, I tend to stick to my favourites.
(Via Buzzfeed).

As do my colleagues. But what's really baffling is when couples go out of their way to purchase matchy-matchy outfits. WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.
(Via IX Daily).

Or this.

You know, unless it's Halloween, or whatever's written on the shirt is very witty, THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING. I mean, what's the point of you wearing matching clothes? To prove that you're a couple? Shouldn't your dedication to each other be enough? Why must you resort to wearing matching clothes with stupid designs on them?!!!
(Via Buzzfeed).

#7 Getting the guy to carry the handbag.

So, I know you girls like to be pampered and stuff. But getting the guy to carry your handbag is seriously not the way ok! It's ridiculous!!
(Via Quora).

Unless your bag weighs like a ton of bricks, or you are injured, you shouldn't be getting the guy to carry your bag! I mean, why can't you carry it by yourself?! I mean if you want to spend thousands of dollars buying some branded bag which matches your every outfit, shouldn't you be the one proudly touting it?!

Like, if even diva of all divas Kim Kardashian can carry her own bag, why can't you?!
(Via Dlisted).

It seriously annoys me when I see girls making guys carry their tiny purses around when I'm just standing next to them with a backpack-and-a-half's worth of stuff. Seriously, stop making the female kind look as useless as stereotyped.
(Via Memes).

Okay and now I've come to the end of the list. Mostly because it is time to sleep, not because I've run out of things to bitch about. But seriously man, you couples need to be in a place where people celebrate your being together, and not you know, have a betting pool on when you'd be breaking up.
(Via Giphy).

Okay and now I will leave you with this very good video about being single AF.

Cheers guys!
❤ Jac.

You Might Also Like