Monday, March 02, 2015

This Is Why I'm Single.

Hello guys! So, you guys remember  Smith right? This is Smith.

Hello guys!

So, you guys remember Smith right? This is Smith.

No, not the one on the left. That's me. I'm referring to the one on the right of course. Smith Leong.
He's my friend who helps me navigate through the online maze that is known as Tao Bao to help me buy anything from wigs to sports bras. He sometimes bitches that I'm throwing Tao Bao off target when it comes to his customer profile. But, Tao Bao is messy and I have yet to get an account. So meanwhile, Smith has kindly offered to help me make all my purchases.
Anyway, Smith posted this well, I wouldn't call it an article, just a link to someone's not very coherrent thoughts on why she is single.
Based on the comments that came with the link, I guess wasn't the only one who thought that her thoughts were all over the place. But since we're on the topic, I would like to highlight that I actually I have a lot of thoughts on this being single thing and I am quite sure I have organised them rather logically. (Although whether each point is logical is a whole different story). So, in accordance to Smith's suggestion here:
I am going to blog about why I am single. Smith, just for you okay. Because I realise I always procrastinate and possibly never blog about all the things you ask me to blog about. Sorry. HAHA.

#1 I have many guy friends.

Now, allow me to clarify that I am not the sort who feels that my boyfriend would be threatened by my many guy friends ok. But you know, sometimes you get your friends to QC the guy you are seeing. You think it’s tough when girls shoot down the guy that you're considering?
(Via Buzzfeed).

Wait until you see what guys have to say about your hypothetical potentials...
That being said, I love my guy friends. They are awesome.

#2 I am a very awkward person.

Nobody believes me when I say this. But I am truly so very awkward. So sometimes people find it a pain to watch television shows on a laptop with me, because I'd make weird squealing noises and hide my face when I know something awkward is about to happen. Like so.
(Via wikia).

Trust me. You do not want to watch shows with a person who is constantly hiding her face behind the pillow during How I Met Your Mother, which in my opinion, is one of the most awkward shows in history thanks to Ted Mosby.

Omg I can't. I also tend to fall asleep when I watch shows lying down. So I assume that most guys will find it irritating to constantly fill me in on what I just missed - either because I'm cowering behind the blanket, or because they've discovered that I've fallen asleep.
How annoying of me. And that's also why I'm single I'm assuming.

#3 I have a blog.

Okay. I don't mean to be very diva about it, but did you know that having a blog actually impedes guys from holding a normal conversation with you? Let me just show you some extracts of a 2 day conversation which quickly died because I refused to reply.

So this guy, he kept referencing my blog. He told me exactly what he had read, and what I had written in that post. And how he appreciated that I put this picture, with this caption, in this post. Like when I said I couldn't check my POSB account balance because I was in the MRT?
Because you know, my post on MRT Selfies. He would insert blog references at every single opportunity. IT WAS INFURIATING. My blog is not a textbook to my heart and soul. It is the outlet where I unleash my sarcasm and bitchiness so that I can muster the self-control to not hadoken a ball of fiery rage onto people I actually see in real life.
Also, he felt the constant need to update me each time he had completed reading a new post on my blog. Dude. Do you feel the need to tell newspaper editors each time you complete reading an article in their paper? No right? Then why do you have this burning need to inform me unless you have something to contribute to it?
Seriously, I don't need to be constantly updated on what you're reading and what you think of my blog. I mean it's nice to know what you guys think of my writing. Really, I appreciate all the emails I get, and I really try to answer each one of them. BUT DUDE. Showing my blog to your parents? SERIOUSLY?!

I guess the main issue I have is this -

#4 I'm very bitchy.

Yes I know. I'm very bitchy. I like to identify the difficult parts of my life and pinpoint the various stupid people who have made it that way. During the process, I like to give my uncensored opinion on what these people can do to improve my quality of living. And I like to give my opinion in the form of snarky comments which I take great pride in constructing.
(Via someecards).

One of my best ones for this year was...okay. Remember the obnoxious guy who helped me break my new year resolution #10? The guy who has an ego bigger than Jupiter and a brain smaller than a quail egg? Well, I was complaining to my friend about him, and was described as "poetic" for my efforts.
Yes, I know I could be more constructive by letting these insufferable twerps know what they are doing wrong, and how they could work on improving the lives of those around them. But you know, tact is not a character trait which comes easily to me. Especially when I have absolutely no interest in behaving civilly when all I want to do is stab the person in the eyes with my hypothetical adamantium claws.

Anyway. Bitchy - not a good girlfriend quality and therefore I am still single.

#5 I forget to reply people.

It is my understanding that when people send you texts or WhatsApps, it's only polite that you reply. Sadly, I like to do this thing where construct the reply in my head, and then forget to send it to the person. So while I believe that I have already replied to so-and-so, so-and-so is just wondering why I didn't bother to respond to his texts.
(Via Meme Crunch).

Which probably explains why I am single. Guys think I am ignoring them when actually, I just suffer from an overly active and overly vivid imagination. Like how I'm telling Mr Dinosaur over here.

#6 I am not always supportive.

So guys usually watch soccer and have a team that they support. I don't. I find soccer just mildly amusing and I can get quite grumpy when I watch a game. To illustrate my point, here's a picture of me and Smith at the Singapore vs Juventus game.
No, we don't look very happy at all. Because you know, I'd much rather be watching something like Bones or Big Bang Theory. 

But because I am a somewhat supportive girlfriend, I have always watched whatever sporting event that my previous boyfriends wanted to watch. I am really quite supportive ok. I even booked fucking Wimbledon tickets once (not that I minded, but, long story). Anyway, this is me and Wimbledon.
And me being the supportive girlfriend and taking good photos of cool people. Like Rafael Nadal.
REALLY QUITE GOOD RIGHT?! I was very proud of myself. Anyway, back to soccer. One of my ex-boyfriends used to watch soccer. He supported Liverpool. Did I support Liverpool? Of course not. Who did I support? Manchester United. Why? Because my friend said so. My friend was not my boyfriend. Anyway, friend is the best. He never fails to give me updates on my favourite team, aka Manchester United. Like yesterday.
So, I had to watch the World Cup. And this is how I decided on who to suport.
The ex, who supported Brazil, was not very pleased. But EH. I woke up at 3 am to watch the World Cup. Good enough okay.
But yes. You can see how this can be annoying this can be for boyfriends. Must be one of the reasons why they are all gone.

#7 I have selective OCD.

I really am. So this is the inside of my wardrobe.
I know! It's extremely neat and you wish that your wardrobe was as well organised as mine. But now, just take a look at how messy I can be.
Apparently it is very hard for guys to keep track of what I'm OCD about. But a safe rule to follow is, if it's in my wardrobe, my phone, or my laptop, I care a lot. Otherwise, I can't be bothered.
(Via Where to Get).

Okay and now I am getting very sleepy and I would like to sleep. But actually these are just 7 of the maybe 20 million reasons explaiing why this Jac is single because you know, there's also reasons like, I'm mad, irrational, and also because some people are just too daft for me. But this will do for now I guess.

And now I will leave you with this good song.

Okay sleep!
❤ Jac.

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