Tuesday, February 24, 2015

8 Things I Like About Chinese New Year.

Hello guys! So um firstly, Gong Xi Fa Cai and all that. Well if you must know, I'm not really into the Chinese New Year festivities an...

Hello guys!

So um firstly, Gong Xi Fa Cai and all that. Well if you must know, I'm not really into the Chinese New Year festivities and all that jazz. Have you heard of the Grinch who stole Christmas?

(Via Buzzfeed).

I am like him. Just you know, the Chinese New Year version.
Why don't I like Chinese New Year? Well, there are various reasons. One being that, CNY is all about eating. Eat, eat eat. THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH I CAN EAT. And as you guys might already know, I am quite adept at snacking.
But consuming plate upon plate of like, real food? It's a whole different ball game. I CAN'T EAT SO MUCH AT ONCE. I must have looked and felt like this possum that broke into an Australian bakery
after eating non-stop for the past three days.
(Via Daily Mail).

Then there's also the crowds of aunties who clear the shelves of everything from chocolates to potato chips to, horror of all horrors, COKE LIGHT. AUNTIES, WHY DO YOU WANT TO CLEAR THE SHENG SIONG SHELVES OF COKE LIGHT. TAKE THE COKE. THE RED COKE LABELS ARE MORE AUSPICIOUS GOD DAMN IT.
The Coke Light is usually located below the Coke and next to the Pepsi. As you can see, THE ROW IS EMPTY. #upset.

Also CNY tends to be noisy
. Just the other day, I was unable to watch my Person of Interest in peace because some idiots were dancing around a fire and shouting "HUAT AH" at the top of their voices. At 10:30 pm. People. Even if you don't care about my addiction with American TV series, you should at least respect the people who are trying to sleep. Or the fact that you could have gotten a fine. I don't know. But I want to highlight that this not the 16th century and dancing around fires is no longer the rage. Just come up with some bad goat puns for Facebook and be done with it.
And speaking of stupid Goat puns
, I HATE THEM. I mean there are some pretty good ones out there, like this one...
But most of them just suck.
(Via Ikea).

You can read more about the bad puns here
. Anyway, because I'm like, positive and stuff at times, I have found a sliver of light shining in at the end of the seemingly neverending tunnel of darkness and despair that is Chinese New Year. So here you go.
(This picture was taken in HK (country with Chinese roots) and I'm wearing pink, which is a shade of red. So it is very befitting of the CNY theme).

#1 CNY Sales.

Okay so I don't understand why people see the need to buy new clothes for CNY. I don't. But that's probably because I ensure that my closet sees a constant influx of new clothing items on a regular basis.
So if I do want to wear something new, I just open my closet and feel around for something wrapped in plastic. But I understand that's not the case for everyone. Some of you actually need to go out to buy new clothes to wear when the need arises. Which gives me another reason to shop. Like I needed one.
(Via someecards).

Anyway, thank you people, for unleashing yourselves onto the shops which led them to making it the opportune time to you know, release their promotional codes and putting all their stock sale. Like these Converse shoes? I got them from Zalora for $35. $35 for Converse sneakers. Wow.
(Via Zalora).

So thanks people. Thank you for helping me attain more clothes and shoes and what not at cheap prices and great bargains.
(Via someecards).

#2 Pok Chui Crackers.

So I know a lot of people love yusheng. I quite like yusheng. Here is one of my many portions of yusheng I've had over the CNY period.
And I know that the favourite part of the yusheng is the salmon. I mean it's only logical right? It's the most expensive part of the dish. BUT HEY! You can get salmon sashimi at any time of the year. In anywhere from Cold Storage to Umi Sushi to Sushi Tei. But you know what you can't get all year round? Pok Chui crackers.
(Via Umi Sushi).

I love them very much. They only cost about a dollar a packet and they are very addictive. And the sad thing is that they are only available once a year. During the CNY period. Which is obviously when I stock up on them.
I lie. I don't stock up. I just hoard them and wipe them out on the same day. Also the pok chui crackers in the yellow packet is better than those in the red packet. Crispier.

#3 Good Excuse.

So, sometimes my friends ask me out for drinner or drinks or something like that. But I can't go or it's inconvenient for me to go because my mom wants us to have a family dinner. Or you know, I can't be bothered to leave the house. And if I were to tell my friends this on a regular basis, they would say things like....
"Wah lao, Jac. Just come leh! Come after your dinner la!"
"Ehhhh Jac. Don't like that leh."
"Come leh Jac. Got a lot of food."
And then I end up going to some event/party when I really want to be at home, watching Person of Interest and looking for my next travel destination (UK, April). But suddenly, during CNY, having family dinners becomes a totally acceptable excuse. Staying at home for dinner becomes a legitimate excuse. Not wanting to go out because you've just finished your reunion dinner is not a problem. Because everyone understands that, as with all Chinese festivals, a surplus of food is mandatory.
(Via Imgur).

Meanwhile you know, I can just stay at home. And. Not eat. Anything but eat. I can just picture the remnants of Thursday's reunion dinner just sitting around in my stomach, just waiting to be converted into fats or something. (Please choose or something, and not fats).
(Via Reddit).

#4 My Chinese.

So usually my Chinese is um, not very good. As in I can read and write. But my spoken Chinese is.....well, it is very good compared to some of my friends. But then again, um. Yeah. Many of my friends are from the same JC as me.
(I repeat - no one looks good in photos from goodness knows how many years ago.)

And you know what they say about AC and Chinese. But during CNY, I know exactly what to say. Idioms comes to me as easily as me looking at the back of my hand (易如反掌) and whatever I say flows out perfectly like nothing I could ever imagine (不可思议). Because it's CNY. And because I've been using these idioms my whole life and have spent many years perfecting them to get money out of people, I'm a pro at spouting Chinese well wishing idioms. Check out my idioms in GIF form man. CAN YOU DO THAT.
Yeah thought not. Watch as I run away and feel sad while eating my hypothetical dust (望尘莫及).

#5 Social Media is Happy.

Sometimes, I hate checking Facebook because it's flooded with people slamming their friends/lives/government/cat/neighbours/weather/hair and what have you. Eh dudes, chill. I like my social media to be a sanctuary of frivolity where I can escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
(Via Imgur).

But when it's CNY, you're not allowed to be grumpy! Everyone has to be happy so that you know, you'd be blessed with good luck and prosperity for the rest of the year. So my timeline is like an explosion well wishes, family photos and lots of well, food.
Sorry and you have to look at my explosion of photos instead because I don't think my friends would appreciate posting pictures of their very cute nephews and nieces on my very frivolous, sometimes not family friendly blog.

But yes, CNY. Good time for Facebook. A very apparent lack of negativity. Thank you Chinese friends and your adherence to superstition.

#6 Uninterrupted Phone Time.

Because you spend so much time eating and socialising during the CNY period. Everyone understands if you duck out to a corner to have some alone time. All you need is your phone. Basically, if you're sitting or crouching in some weird corner of the house and looking anti-social with your phone, people understand it's code for "OK TIME OUT". If you plan your escapes well, you can avoid talking to all your pesky relatives' questions the whole day. Just choose different corners of the house and pretend that you're hiding from different groups of people.
(Via Sharenator).

Of course, you must assume that the house that you're visiting is large enough to hide in. And that there are enough people for you to hide from. You can tentatively spend your whole CNY catching up with all your television series. Which I did not do. I spent it eating and digesting the food I've eaten and mindlessly scrolling through Facebook in the meantime as I could not think on an exploding stomach.
But, you can be sure that this is just about what everyone is expected to do. Or Singtel wouldn't have given out unlimited data on the first day of CNY. Who wants to answer a million and one probey questions from your twice removed cousin when you could be watching videos of pandas roll off slides? Not me.

#7 Free pass.

So I guess most of you know that I have a minor addiction to Coke Light.
Which of course, my family does not approve of. So, I often have to indulge in my Coke Light consuming activities in the secrecy of my room. Behind closed doors. In the middle of the night. Like now.

Which suits me just fine. But you know, during the CNY period, I CAN DRINK COKE LIGHT OPENLY. In front of the mother. Who cannot say anything because it's CNY and only good things are to be sad because of Chinese traditions.
(Via Imgur).

#8 Empty Streets.

AND THE LAST THING, that is good about CNY, is that if you find the time to escape and venture into town, the streets are EMPTY. There is SPACE. In the DAY. To BREATHE. You will be able to skip and dance from happiness of seeing such uncharacteristically empty streets (手舞足蹈).

Sadly I think I was only able to experience this once. It was fun. My mother and I were the only people in Forever 21, which by the way, is open on the first day of CNY. Ahh, to shop without having to line up for the changing room. Some of the small luxuries in life.

Okay, and now I have come to the end of my list of 8 things that I like about CNY. Which, I hope you note, did not include traditional and orthodox favourites like "hong baos" and "CNY goodies". Tsk. Overrated. 

And now I would like to leave you with a very good song, "Bang Bang". Yout know, to scare away the Nian?

Hope you had a good CNY everyone!
❤ Jac.

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