Saturday, January 10, 2015

15 Things I'm Grateful For.

Hello everyone! So sometime last year, this Smith tagged me in one of his statuses as part of this Gratitude Project that he's doing....

Hello everyone!

So sometime last year, this Smith tagged me in one of his statuses as part of this Gratitude Project that he's doing. Basically what you have to do as part of the project is to list down three things that you're grateful for for five days. Five days is a long time. You can undergo a total personality transformation in five days. Let me illustrate.

(Via Uber Humor).

So anyway, I've decided to lump all the things I am grateful for into one list. Ease of access and um, consolidation of information and all that jazz. So presenting...

#1. LASIK.

Once upon a time, I was short sighted. Like really short sighted. Like the myopia was 1100 degrees per eye. Yes. I used to wear glasses. All the freaking time. Then I turned 11 and got contact lenses. So there aren't that many photos of me in glasses floating around. But, just to prove that I used to wear glasses, here are some pictures of me pre-LASIK.
Yes. I was a lifeguard you know? I was certified to give CPR and all that jazz. See? Here are some photos of me feeling up and making out with half a dummy, which is more action than I've had in a while.
Shut up. Everyone looks like a fool during their teenage years. Anyway, LASIK is good and wonderful. It's so much more convenient, especially when you travel or crash at your friend's place for the night. Also, the feeling I got when I was able to tell the time when I looked the wall clock the moment I sat up after my operation is indescribable. 

ALSO, I want to highlight that the friend in my lifeguard pictures is Marilyn. 
The moral of the story is, if you're the type who tends to judge a book by it's cover, do not do this judging while your book is a teenager. You will lose out.

#2. Internet.

If you are reading this right now, I'm sure that the internet needs no introduction. I mean, logic dictates that the less WWW-inclined use the internet for its more boring important roles. Like, booking flights and all that jazz, instead of you know, reading a blog which has a slogan "I hope you like frivolity".

But seriously, the WWW, coupled with OpenNet/4G/3G/broadband, or if you really must, *ughh* dial-up, is the invention of the MILLENNIUM. I mean sure, you can argue that it is the cause of our generation's fixation to our electronic gadgets, what with our constant need to refresh our plethora social media channels. But still! What better way is there to get constant updates on important news items such as the AirAsia incident, the Ebola drug trials, and who Miley Cyrus is seeing now Google stock prices if not for RSS feeds and Twitter??
(Via Toondoo).

Our generation is fuelled by a constant stream of terabytes of information, and I readily admit that my life depends on it.
(Via Shoebox BLOG).

#3. Coffee.

Now I think that it has been pretty much established that life as we know it would cease to exist if not for coffee. Or rather, caffeine.
(Via someecards).

But, not all caffeinated drinks were created equal. I can't possibly swagger around the office with a Redbull in hand all day everyday. So, coffee is wonderful. It's the only socially acceptable beverage that can keep my energy levels up and nagging from the colleagues down. Although I think that I've just uncovered a brilliant idea to increase the effectiveness of my morning coffee without injecting adrenaline into my system.
(Via Car Memes).

#4. Clothes.

I love clothes. Clothes are important when it comes to keeping you warm, giving you something to waste your money on, hiding your fats, and covering tattoos when you go to work. And I guess if you want to convey some kind of message, having a slogan on your shirt is quite a subtle way to go.
(Via ThinkGeek).

#5. Stupid People.

(Via Viral Nova).

I have a friendship based entirely on bitching about stupid people. It works very well. So while I hate stupid people very much, I still appreciate their presence and contribution to my life.

#6. Earphones.

These are a god-send. They save you from anything from pesky people asking you to fill up their useless survey forms on the street, to that bunch of annoyingly loud students in Starbucks, to your snoring friend in the next bed. They do come with one tiny drawback though...

#7. Coke Light.

I am crazy. Sometimes. Luckily I have Coke Light which keeps me sane. And my colleagues are very wary of the fact that Coke Light keeps me in check. So they built me a wall of Coke Light to maintain peace in the office.

#8. Facebook.

I have no marketable skills whatsoever. So how else would I be able to earn money apart from betting on how long people's relationships last? I kid of course. I would be broke if I did this for a living. But still, Facebook is great for fooling people on how great my life is when actually all I'm doing is sitting behind my desk, trying not to fall asleep. Just like the rest of you office drones.
It's also a very useful source of knowledge. Why just today I came across a whole list of facts that have surely enriched my life in many ways and will contribute to making my existence a much more fulfilling one.
More here.

#9. Google.

Oh Google. I love you so. You have helped me to resolve insurmountable problems and reconcile many of life's deepest and darkest mysteries. Like "What should I eat for lunch today?" Or "Is my friend crazy?" 

Also I would like to thank Google for introducing this very good song to me when I typed "I Hate Boys" into the search bar.
Also guys, I Googled if Coke Light is bad for health and turns out, it isn't. Google is King.
(Via someecards).

#10. Shoes (and slippers).

So this used to be what the space below my table at work looked like. On a good day that is, just after I threw away some old shoes and brought home some of the ones less worn.
Then I changed job and I didn't want my new colleagues to judge me, so I only brought 7 pairs of shoes over. My colleague who shares my desk with me judged me. EH. I threw away the purple pair ok. And brought 5 pairs home. 7 is an extremely conservative number sigh.

But anyway I love shoes. I would like to buy this pair of shoes of course.

Why? Because I spend a lot of money on shoes and my shoes are very nice. People should thank me for having such great taste in shoes. And they can do so by funding my next few pairs of shoes. Yes, I'm aware that I have issues, and Yes, I'm seeking treatment.
(Via someecards).

#11. Online Shopping.

So we all know buying shoes is very therapeutic and a legitimate cure for ailments ranging from depression to hangovers. But you know what's more encompassing? Online shopping. I LOVE IT. Everything is available at the touch of a button. Or a few buttons. It doesn't matter. And you can do it all day everyday. At any hour you choose to. You don't have to be limited to opening hours. Which suits people work during the day and scour the internet for deals at night.
(Via someecards).
You get to search for all the items you want without even having to leave your seat. Anything from essentials like jackets to non-essentials like underwear with slogans on them.
(Via La Senza).
Or underwear with capes.

Or underwear in general. I quite like underwear. One day I will really buy this Batman underwear with the cape. In the meantime, I will just stick to buying the bare essentials. Like this pair of chopsticks that I just bought.
They are very practical. I will bring them to work to eat lunch with. 

#12. Elevators.

So, here's the view from my living room.
I would take a better photo, but it's dark out. So this one's from slightly more than 3 years ago. Anyway, I live on the 40th floor, and used to work in an office slightly lower than that. There are days when you look up to the top floor of the building from below and go...
(Via Imgur).

#13. Mobile Phones.

There are many famous idioms out there. But in this particular idiom is the most befitting for the case of the elevator.
(Via Imgur).

So elevators are good. They get you from the first floor to the fourtieth in 20 seconds without you even having to break so much as a sweat. HOWEVER. Elevators also present yet another opportunity for chance awkward encounters. Being stuck in an enclosed area with an acquaintance for 20 seconds? No I don't think so.
(Via Oh My Pizza).

Luckily, this situation can easily avoided with you turning to your phone and pretending to type furiously, or scrolling through all your messages/WhatsApps/emails and Facebook/ Twitter/Instagram feeds like your life depended on it.
(Via Meme Pics).

Apart from helping you avoid awkward encounters, phones are also good for, you know. Generic stuff. Texting, updating your social media platforms, checking emails, listening to music, watching shows...oh and yes. Making calls.

#14. Photoshop.

I don't like to brag, I'm very humble by nature. But this is how I actually look like.

So I use Photoshop to transform myself into something much less intimidating because I don't want to scare my readers away.

#15. Straws.

So you might or might not know, that I'm a very lazy person. One of the main reasons why I sleep so late at night is because my reluctance to get out of the bed extends to up to 8 hours before I actually sleep. I call it "pre-emptive reluctance".
(Via Imgur).

So I'm very thankful for the genius who came up with the concept of straws. Like, sometimes OI get too lazy to lift my cup from the table to my mouth. Straw provide me with an easy way out. You can just lean slightly forward. No hands needed!
(Via Imgkid).

I have plenty of cups that come with straws, but this is my favourite one.
I love Urban Outfitters. Anyway, straws are also good because you can use them as chopsticks to eat your instant noodles. 
I would show you a picture of me eating the cup noodles with a pair of makeshift straw chopsticks, but I think I have shared enough bespectacled photos of myself to last a lifetime.

Okay and now I have come to the end of the list. So here is a very good song by Chris Brown for you.

Enjoy your weekend guys!
❤ Jac.

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