Monday, September 22, 2014

10 Ridiculously Expensive Things.

Hello guys! So over the weekend I went for this very exclusive F1 after party at the Amber Lounge (post will come soon) . And I was thinki...

Hello guys!

So over the weekend I went for this very exclusive F1 after party at the Amber Lounge (post will come soon). And I was thinking about how very ridiculously expensive some things are. And so I have come up with a list of what I think are the world's most ridiculously expensive things.

#1. Expensive Wooden Pencils.

So like, I can understand the concept of expensive fountain pens. Maybe they are designed well and branded and there are diamonds on them which have been forged in the fires of Mount Doom. I do not know. Whatever floats your boat. But pencils which can be sharpened should not cost more than...whatever a primary school kid's pocket money is.

So what I don't understand are these Paper Graf von Faber-Castell Perfect Pencils. They cost USD $12,800. Each.

Yes they are special and apparently crafted with 240 year-old olive wood and 18-carat white gold and features 3 diamonds. It even comes with a handy built-in eraser and sharpener! WOW. And then you sharpen it and then goodbye $12,000. I hope whoever buys this waste of money isn't prone to making mistakes.

#2. Expensive Toilet Paper.

Okay I don't know about you but this is the toilet paper that I currently am using at home.
(Via Fairprice).

I don't always use this specific brand of toilet paper. The brand I choose depends on a variety of factors - like what's on sale, whether the mother gave me any specific instructions, and so on. In the latest episode of "Jac Chooses Her Toilet Paper in Sheng Siong", I was having a bad day and the dog looked cute.

So you know what I don't understand? Toilet paper which is going for $1.3 million dollars. Presenting 22 Carat Gold Flake Toilet Paper by Australia's Toilet Paper Man.
(Via So Much Viral).

AUD $1,376,900.00!!!!! That's a lot of money for toilet paper. Paper that is used to wipe your ass. This is literally flushing money down the toilet. But you know. The consolation is that there is a free gift that comes with it "Delivered Personaly with a bottle of Champagne". Yes, personaly. I did not make a typo. And also that you will have traces of it on your bathroom floor and butt.
As you use the toilet paper 22 carat gold flakes will fall onto the floor and your behind taking you to another level of sophistication."
(Toilet Paper Man, 2014).
I have no words. The end.

#3 Overly Expensive Perfume.

Okay I can understand why you might want to buy expensive perfume. Maybe it smells better, lasts longer, or is endorsed by Britney Spears. But you know, I don't think that anyone should pay that much for perfume. Reason being that anyone who can afford perfume, should be able to afford a bath. So whatever scent you spray on yourself should be washed away during your daily bath.

Which is why I don't understand why people would want to shell out USD $1 million for a bottle of perfume. Presenting the DKNY Golden Delicious Perfume.
(Via Pouted).

$1 million dollars. Seriously. *shakes head*.

#4 This Rubik's Cube.

So because I am very bimbotic at times very modest of my achievements, many people are often surprised when I tell them that I can complete a Rubik's cube. It's true! I can! Check out my photo of my achievement in 2008.
Firstly, I would like to draw your attention to the left side of the second picture where you can see my mini Rubik's cube keychain. Yes. I am really secretly geeky. And next, I would like to draw your attention to my computer screen because of the MSN windows. MSN. *sigh* Used to be my life. Anyway one 3x3 Rubik's cube goes for $9.95 at Toys 'R' Us. It's good that it is so cheap because you know, after some time the cube loosens up, stickers come off and it gets dirty and scruffy looking in general. WHICH IS WHY I DON'T GET THIS - THE MASTERPIECE CUBE.

It costs $1.5 million! Why would you want to buy a cube that's worth so much? I mean sure, it's pretty and the sides are adorned with 185 carats of precious gems that include amethysts, emeralds and rubies. BUT WHO WOULD BUY IT?! People who can complete Rubik's cubes would be intelligent enough to know that this is a waste of money and that the gems would drop once you start twisting the sides about. Insane.

#5 This iPhone.

(Via Ealuxe).

This Black Diamond iPhone 5 is worth USD $15.3 million. Why would you want to buy this phone. Firstly, it's an iPhone. But even if we discount the fact that Android phones are superior to iPhones, Hello?! It is just a phone. Phones drop. 

And if you feel like you have been stabbed repeatedly in the heart when your $1,000 iPhone drops on the ground, think about how you would feel if you dropped your USD $15.3 million iPhone ok. I think I might possibly die of shock.

Also this Black Diamond iPhone 5 with its inlay of 600 white diamonds, a solid gold Apple logo surrounded by 53 white diamonds, 135 grams of 24-carat gold and sapphire glass for the screen and black diamond home button was launched on 15 April 2013. Guess what? It's September 2014 and you need to get a new phone now. Your current ridiculously expensive phone is now outdated.

However, you are mad, you can still purchase the Black Diamond iPhone 5 from the Stuart Hughes website here. But you know, I guess buying this iPhone is still better than what's next up.

#6 This iPhone docking station.

(Via Jarre).

Ok. Where do I begin? Well, I would think that if you can afford this AeroDream One by Jarre Technologies which goes for USD $15,774, you would be able to afford I don't know, maybe a security system of some sort. So why do you need a docking station where you iPad dock is like, 3.5 meters above ground?! It's so inconvenient. Do people buy this for the additional exercise? Because I know entire basketball courts that can be built for much less than that. OMG. #ICANT.

#7 This Watch.

So okay, I can understand if you want to buy an expensive watch. I mean it's one of the rare times when your fashion accessory actually has some functional purpose to it. You can use it to tell the time, and also use it to decorate your wrist. But take a look at this 201 Carat Chopard Watch ok.
(Via Mashable).

Let's not even talk about the price first. It is not a watch. I can barely see the watch face. It looks like Gardens by the Bay got miniaturised, crystallised, and plonked onto a hair tie ok. Also it looks very heavy and uncomfortable to wear. Oh, how many diamonds did you say you needed? One pink, one blue, 352 D colour flawless and 520 fancy intense yellows? Surely one out of that many diamonds will scratch and injure my delicate skin. It's going for USD $25 million by the way. JSYK.

#8 Expensive Ice Cubes.

So the thing about ice cubes is that, they melt. So the actual time you get to interact them is minimal before they become a pool of water. Which you know, is what covers 71% of the Earth's surface according to Wikipedia. Which is why I don't get these G-Cubed Classic Pouches by Gl├Ące Luxury Ice Co.
(Via Sploid).

One bag of 50 ice cubs goes for USD $325. Glace claims that the cubes have no taste, so they don't ruin the taste of drinks, and they provide minimum dilution and maximum cooling. Of course they don't have any taste. It's WATER. How much taste do you want water to have. Also hand carved? I don't want your hands to be all over my ice?! Also ice MELTS. Who cares how perfectly sculpted it is? I mean, this is the kind of ice you put into your drinks. Not the kind you carve an entire city out of.
(Via Daily Mail).

But you know, Glace Ice says, "Traditional machine-ice, generally made with local tap water, may contain upwards of 150 impurities and carcinogens, resulting in poor tasting and potentially unhealthy ice." This may be true. But invalid all the same. Why? Because the kind of ice you put in your drinks shouldn't even matter after downing your first two drinks. USD $325 for like, ice. Pfft. Even meth would be cheaper than that.

#9 Expensive Staples.

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22 this is the kind of staples I turn to should I need to fasten papers together in a more permanent manner.
(Via Popular). 

I would say that they are quite cheap. One box goes for less than $0.50. And they seem to work fine. Which is why I don't understand why anyone would want to buy these ooms Goldplated staples

They go for € 59.00. Why would you want to buy these? To impress your boss? Please. He'd just mistake them for these Chinese creations right here.

(Via dx).

Yup. So sad that you ran out of professional looking staples and had to steal your primary school cousin's staples to use to bind your report together. 

#10 This Bikini.

Okay. So let's get this straight. Bikinis have very specific functions:
  1. Cover your boobs and butt when you go swimming
  2. Push your boobs up if you have no boobs
  3. Stand in for your bras when you forget to do your laundry
  4. I heard they can be worn to play beach volleyball, but it sounds rather unsafe to me.
  5. Maybe seduce someone.
(Via Klonblog).

Which makes me so confused as to why someone would want to buy this  diamond bikini worth $30 million dollars.
(Via Zimbio).

I mean okay she looks very hot. But I bet she would look hotter without dental floss and shiny cotton wool covering her *beep*. Also, I'm sure she can afford some shiny pasties and a matching g-string for like a two or even three figure sum. And even if she is trying to seduce someone, seriously, I don't think she would be very happy if her $30 million bikini was ripped off in a frenzy. Also, I don't think it looks very water friendly. Or volleyball friendly for that matter. Why ok. Why.

And this brings me to the end of my list of ridiculously expensive things which I hope none of you will be buying. However, if you do want to purchase them for me, by all means. Please go ahead. I never turn down gifts of any sort. it's part of my beneficent nature.
(Via Imgur).

Anyway, I'd like to leave you with this awesome video by J. Lo and Iggy Azalea. OMG this redefines bootylicious okay. Also I had no idea that butts could be so appealing until now.

Have a good rest of the week guys!
❤ Jac

Edit: It was suggested that I should have posted Gold Digger instead. With reference to the toilet paper of course. So here goes - 

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