Wednesday, June 25, 2014

5 things I don't see a point to.

Hello guys! So I guess you guys should know by now that I'm a very busy individual. You know, I've got cures for cancer to find, ...

Hello guys!


So I guess you guys should know by now that I'm a very busy individual. You know, I've got cures for cancer to find, military intelligence to decipher and lots of new bubble tea recipes to try out. That leaves me with practically no time to indulge in frivolous stuff. Luckily, most of the stuff I do isn't frivolous. I mean, I do enjoy reading the Business Times and ZaoBao for leisure sometimes, but that's pretty much the most time-wasting activity that I allow myself to engage in.

As you can tell, with my passion for delving into pertinent information to reap the benefits for mankind, haven't really got the time for things which you know, are too inane for my superior intelligence. I can't stand it when I have to engage in inane activities that are a waste of my precious time. What qualifies as such activities? Well, in the words of Barney Stinson, "Glad you asked!"
(Via Imgur).

1. "Say 'Hi' to him for me!"
(Via Threadless).

So I'm sure this has happened to you before. You're meeting someone for lunch/dinner/coffee and you happen to mention it to your friend. And your friend goes "Oh! Say hi to him for me!" And this annoys me to no end.

And you might be thinking, "Jac that's rather unreasonable, your friend is just trying to be friendly."
(Via Imgur).

Think of it this way. Why is it so necessary for you to say 'hi' to someone I'm meeting? What would me saying 'hi' achieve? Why are you dying to say 'hi' to my friend? Why can't you say it by yourself? Why do I have to say 'hi' for you? Is it because you're not as close as I am to him? Probably. If that's the case, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY HI TO HIM TO FEIGN AN INTEREST IN THEIR LIVES. That's what Facebook and Instagram is for. Go online and like a bunch of their photos and Facebook posts. They'll believe that you're worshipping them to no end. Trust me.
(Via someecards).

2. "Say 'Hi' back!"

Okay not exactly. I mean, how are you supposed to respond when your friend says, "Your not-so-close-friend says 'hi' to you." Clearly, the response is "Say 'hi' back please!" However what comes after can be plain stupid.
"Ask her how is she!"
"How's her job?"
"Tell her meet up soon!"
"Ask her how is her boyfriend!"
DUDE. Is it not enough that I helped you say 'hi'? Am I your maid? No. But even if I was, your maid is called a domestic worker for a reason. She's there to help around the house and not act as a postbox for you and your pointless messages. Also, why don't you meet up with said friend instead? Then you can bombard her with all the questions in the world without disturbing me. I don't see why you should hijack my meeting time with my friend to ask your silly questions that I seriously cannot be bothered with. And asking about her boyfriend? ISN'T ASKING ABOUT HER LIFE INTRUSIVE ENOUGH? Ohmygod, stop.
(Via Cheezburger).

3. Asking "Are you sure?"

But that's not to say I don't appreciate being asked that question at all. In fact, I commend my inanimate objects for posing this question to me at the correct times - when they feel that my carelessness might be interfering with my actions. Acceptable "Are you sure" questions include, but are not limited to,
  • Are you sure you want to uninstall this programme?
  • Are you sure you want to delete this item?
  • Are you sure you want to delete all saved passwords?
  • Are you sure you want to quit without saving?
(Via J-Walk).

And so on. However, people have taken this question and morphed it in a very pointless and time-consuming activity which they like to engage me in. It's annoying. Let me elaborate. So the conversation can go something like...
Stupid person (SP),"Eh, so when must we submit this important form?"
Me, "Tomorrow."
SP, "Are you sure?"
Me, "Yes"
SP, "Really?"
Me, "Yes."
SP, "Don't bluff leh."
Me, "Never."
SP, "Are you sure?"
OHMYGOD WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. Surely you know what I mean. Like you asked me a question, presumably because you think I have the correct answer. If I'm not not confident of my information, then surely I would declare my uncertainty. Like, "I think it's tomorrow, but you'd better check." If I replied with certainty, then why are you questioning my answer? Of course I'm sure. Put your time to better use and stop asking me stupid questions.

4. Preachy Facebook posts.

I have this habit - during my daily morning commute to work, I like to take out my phone, and scroll through my Facebook posts. You know, just to catch up on any news which might have happened between the hours of 5 - 7 am while I was asleep. Don't judge me, I work hard everyday. Up all night, got demons to fight and all that jazz.
(Via Quick Meme).

So like everyone else in the train, I'm grumpy, tired, and sleepy, and am just hoping to cheer myself up with some Buzzfeed-esque articles that someone might have shared on Facebook. Here's one that I got today - "25 Of The Cutest Parenting Moments In The Animal Kingdom". Just look at the photos. Try frowning as you look at them. I bet you can't.
But such online gems aren't always available on your grouchiest of mornings. Sometimes you get idiots posting Facebook statuses like this.
(Ideally, it would be a selfie of the subject going to work/ in a state of post-exercise/ smiling with great hair. Sadly i do not have selfies going to work, I don't exercise, and my hair is not great. Also, the privacy settings should show "Public" or "Friends". But you know, this post is for illustrative purposes only. I cannot have such stuff on my timeline. I might die of self-depreciation.)

Anyway, I have two words for people who post stuff like this on Facebook, "Fuck You". Seriously, why do you think it's such a big achievement to wake up in the morning? So you woke up. Big deal. I wake up everyday. So does my friend Nessie. And my friend Pamy. And my friend Sam. And my friend Titus. And my friend Cheng Wei. And my friend Yan Liang.
(Via Imgur).

But you know what's the difference? They don't try to glamourise their life by twisting the fact that they woke up into some philosophical lesson that some deity had generously imparted upon us from the heavens above. You are a drama queen. Stop turning mundane tasks like buying lunch, doing the laundry and taking public transport into a freaking soap opera. And most importantly, stop fishing for likes on Facebook. It's annoying, pointless, and takes away the Facebook real estate from my Buzzfeed articles.
(Via someecards).

5. Responding with "See my Facebook/Instagram/Twitter."
(Via someecards).

So sometimes I decide to come out of my shell and make it a point to meet people IRL instead of chatting with them on WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger. Sometimes I'll ask a question, like "Are you free later?" and some wise guy will reply "See my Facebook."
(Via Imgur).

Okay so, obviously when I ask you a question, the point is for conversation. It's either because I am making small talk to pretend to be interested in meeting you, or because you know, I'm genuinely interested in meeting you. If I couldn't care less, obviously, I would just resort to being some serial social media stalker. Why are you trying to make my life so hard?
(Via Amazng Facts).

Also, I can understand if I asked you something like "So what is your view on modern day parenting?" and you had recently written an awesome note on Facebook on that. BUT NO. I'm asking you a simple question. The answer to "Are you free later?" is either "Yes", "No", or "I don't know" - all of which are shorter than "See my Facebook". So the reason why you are giving me such an answer cannot be attributed to laziness, but to plain stupidity. Gah. Useless.

Anyway, I've come to the end of my list. I hope you have found some things that you can relate to to share my angst. You know, we're sort of friends. Double the joy, half the troubles and yadayadayada. Anyway, if you have any other pointless activities that people force upon you, please feel free to share them ok! I am very interested in knowing that there are people angstier than me out there.

And now I will leave you with this good song by Pink.



Okay till next time!
❤ Jac.

You Might Also Like

3 comments

  1. Oh dear. I do have those happy epiphany Facebook posts now and then as I muse philosophically over my existence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HAHA pls it is okay I am ofc referring to those people who do it all the time. You, okay. <3 <3 <3

      Delete
  2. Answering/speaking FOR other people too. It's like, "Wah lau eh, how I know? You go ask yourself lah!"

    ReplyDelete