Wednesday, October 23, 2013

How To Run.

Hello guys! So you might have noticed that, I COMPLETED A 10 KM RUN ! And this is how I feel about my completion of the run.

Hello guys!

So you might have noticed that, I COMPLETED A 10 KM RUN!

And this is how I feel about my completion of the run.

NO, wait. You don't understand. I hate running okay. Well, I used to love it when I was in JC. My 2.4 timing kicked ass (think: 10 minutes). But that was in JC. Now, JC me would probably kick my ass. Literally. JC me also did tae kwon do twice a week you see. JC me also swam laps for lifeguards twice a week. Look! This is me at a pool in JC.
Yes, this used to be my pool get up - a t-shirt and FBTs over a one piece swimming costume. Now, I cannot even remember when the last time I wore my swimming costume was. Come to think of it, I don't even know where my swimming costume is now.

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is, before the Mizuno run, I hadn't run for more than 4 km in my life. And the previous time I really ran was, well,  7 years ago. In JC. BUT! I somehow managed to complete the run anyway! Without any prior training! Good job me!
(Via PixMule).

So many of you might be wondering, "JAC. HOW DID YOU DO IT?" Good question. So I've take the liberty to put together a cheat sheet so that you, also a similar non-runner, can complete a 10 km run without breaking a sweat! (Okay I exaggerate. Of course you will sweat).

1. Be afraid. Very afraid.

I was very afraid in the days leading up to my run. Because you know, I hate running and I hadn't run in a while. I mean, what chance of survival do I have if top-notch runners can collapse and die right after, or even in the middle of their runs?!!!
(Hoho, I am friends with Yahoo! reporter Jeannette.)

So I was very afraid. Really. I'm not kidding you. I was so afraid that I went all crazy and went out with some random guy on a blind date. You know, just for kicks and also because I had to stop thinking of my impending death my then upcoming run. And also because if I died the next day I would die knowing that I had gone on at least one blind date in my life. 

The guy spent the whole dinner talking about his life, his job (previous job - now unemployed), his ex-colleague's life, his travels, he future career ambitions, his theories, his philosophies....and not once did he even bother to ask me, "So what do you do for a living?" Needless to say, it did not go well. The date, that is. As a distraction it worked perfectly because throughout dinner I was thinking of ways to kill myself. I thought that the dinner would never end. But thank goodness for the run. It was the perfect excuse to cut the dinner short - "Sorry I need to wake up at 5 am tomorrow because I'm going to run up Mount Faber." (He talked so much that I had already finished my dinner and he had yet to touch his burger - I kid you not. But more on my blind date another time).
(Via someecards).

Asshole. But I digress. The point is, I was scared that I would die after my run, and you know, fear gives you wings. This means that fear helps you run faster and everyone should be fearful of running if they want to maximise their speed on the day of the run.

2. Do your research.
(Via someecards).

So you know how they say that, you need to be prepared for whatever life throws your way? Yes. They do say that. I'm sure of it. I've seen it on Facebook, possibly when one of my irritating inspiring friends tries to avoid a life crisis by flooding my newsfeed with philosophical quotes on life being a journey/ making lemons into lemonade/ being MOTHERFUCKING XENA...wait the last one could have been me.

Anyway, because I clearly needed all the help I could get for this run, I had to do my research. So that's what I did at 10:30 pm. About 8 hours before my run. Most of the sites were useless. They didn't give me any last minute advice. Instead, they told me things like, "eat pasta for lunch" or "get familiar with the shoes that you are going to wear". You know, stuff which needed ample preparation time which I did not have. I did pick up one useful tip though. Which was to ensure that my toenails were trimmed before the run. So, at 10:49 pm, I cut my toenails. And yes, as the running sites said, I did not suffer from bloody or black toenails after. So you know, always do your research.
(Via MakeaMeme).

3. Be Realistic.

If you haven't run in a while and you spend 70% of your waking hours eating chocolate and drinking Coke Light, there is possibility that you might die a horrible death during/after running 10 km. And you must accept that. Because you know, overconfidence and arrogance caused the downfall of many great entities - the City of Troy, the Titanic, me (with regard to my past relationships). So you know, always be doubtful and unsure about yourself. That's the way to go.

And if you can't take my word for it, I have found you some nice and informative articles on why you shouldn't be overconfident.
And also a more telling meme on expectations vs reality.
(Via Meme Center).

4. Wear Shades.

I know that many of us think that we look impeccable and flawless at all time. Like this guy right here.
(Via Mail Online).

But I'm sorry guys. The truth hurts. Running is unglamorous for the large majority of us. It's sweaty. You pant. Your clothes stick to you. Your face becomes a mirror. Your hair gets plastered to your forehead. Ughh *shudders*. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. Here are some images that you may possibly look like when you run.

(Via Wex Gallery).

(Via Tom U Photo).

Not very glam huh? And it's terrible you know. There are already so many things you have to focus on when you're running up Mount freaking Faber at 7 freaking 30 in the morning. You know, like forcing one foot in front of the other/ ignoring the fatigue shooting through your legs and the sweat dripping into your eyes/ not dying...With the plethora of distractions that your mind has to tend to, who has the patience to look good for the countless photographers trying to snap your photo at every turn?!
(Via Dropline).

Luckily, if you wear shades, you will look good and acceptable always. This lesson applies not only to running, but also to riding camels across the Sahara desert, night swimming in Phuket, and acting like you've got swag when all you are doing is taking pictures with a t-shirt from Sentosa which you are too cheap to buy.
In other words, ALWAYS WEAR SHADES.

Yes. And those are my tips for you to not only survive a 10 km run should you, a fellow run-hater like myself, somehow end up in a situation where you have to run 10 km. I'd swear my them if I were you. Because they totally work! Check out the results for the run man!
Yes I'm really proud. My #ACHIEVEMENTOFTHEYEAR which has earned me something else which I will be soon sharing! (I'm very excited about this okay it is even better than free alcohol).

Anyway, the run was heaps of fun thanks to all the bloggers who ran with me!
From top left (clockwise):  Michelle, Isaac aka IRONMAN, Me, Carrie, Cheryl (who called me the nonsense girl even though I clearly am so very sensible), Rachie, Daph and Smith.
Smith insisted that we take this shot together with both of us looking highly displeased - me because I'm sweaty and unglam, he because um, I guess he likes to pretend to look highly displeased.

Also met the good and sporty Marcus at the run.
Also, a shoutout to CAMERON NG.
Thank you for believing that I could finish second even though I specifically told you NOT to rank me as second. You the best okay.

Also, in my previous post on the perfect sleep, I ended off with a good song which was not on sleeping as I could not think of any sleeping songs. Well, it has been pointed out to me by my now good friend Jonathan that I DO KNOW A SLEEPING SONG. Which I will now share with you.

And now I will end off with some good memes for those who are uninspired to run (like me).

❤ Jac.

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  1. That is a very nice blog post of your 10km run,even though you don't quite like running. Good to see that you enjoyed your race back then :)

  2. May I buy your swimming costume since you are not using it anymore?