Thursday, September 26, 2013

Meeting Essentials.

Hey guys! So was your F1 weekend? MINE WAS AWESOME. Here are some photos from my weekend (which you can see on Instagram. I haven't go...

Hey guys!

So was your F1 weekend? MINE WAS AWESOME. Here are some photos from my weekend (which you can see on Instagram. I haven't got around to uploading the rest yet because you know, I'm a procrastinator).

Anyway, I'm really sad to be back at work and you know, working and all. Life's really sad now that I have to continue with my usual mundane routine of churning out paragraphs of text, trawling through gigabytes of information, and my personal favourite, pouring over sections of newspapers. I'm a natural at that. I've been doing that since I was knee-high to a duck yo!
Unfortunately, part of my job entails me going for meeting upon boring meeting to meet vendors, contractors, suppliers, and what have you. Each of them claiming to sell the best white pearls/ cup-sealing machines/ black tea leaves and know, all the necessary ingredients and equipment to support a fledging bubble tea chain. And I understand that in our heads, most of us envision our meetings to start something like this:

And maybe end in something like this:
(Via TJ McKimmey).

But unfortunately, dreams rarely pan out the way we want them to. (Except for that time when I was four. I dreamt that I was peeing and I woke up to find that I had wet my bed.) And more often than not, meetings tend to look something like this:

Make you feel like this:
(Via Fanpop).

And want to do this:
(Via Buzz Focus).

But you know, much as we want to kill that condescending client, creepy colleague, or brainless, bothersome bitch of a boss, we secretly want to keep the jobs that we pretend to despise so much. And that means that we can't do anything stupid. Like going to jail for killing someone in a meeting.

I know some of you may feel that this is almost impossible to accomplish. But it's okay. Let me share some tips and tricks to staying sane in meetings and out of jail.

1. Coffee, Coffee, Coffee.
(Via someecards).

Have you read about the new 5 C's? No? Then go read about them in the link provided. It's written by  a very respectable and reputable source who ranks coffee as one of the top essentials in life. And in meetings of course. I cannot stress how many times my life has been saved by this magical caffeinated drink.
Yes. This is a picture that I took in a meting I had. And yes, I had a whole flask of coffee to myself. And I know, there are many sceptics out there who doubt the effectiveness of this drink. Well guys, if coffee doesn't work on you, it's because you haven't drunk enough of it yet. You see, I'm not very susceptible to the effects of caffeine myself. But I find that after consuming copious amounts of coffee, the effort which I am required to exert in order to control my bladder is more than sufficient to keep me awake.

Besides, pouring yourself coffee can help you out in numerous scenarios in meetings. Here's a brief list that I compiled during one of my meetings.
So guys, number one rule of meetings - coffee up before buckling down.
(Via Red Bubble).

2. Internet.

In the modern world, the internet is KING. Stored in this network of networks is exabytes of information capable of providing you with an entertainment value in tenfold. And that's even discounting the fact that you can't stream videos during meetings. Well, you technically can. But you won't be able to hear anything so what's the point?

Anyway, with the internet, you can transform your boring and pointless meetings into productive sessions today! Connect with your followers by tweeting about your boredom on Twitter, distract yourself with Buzzfeed articles shared on Facebook, clear your primary inbox on Gmail, and catch up with your blog readings while presenters talk your colleagues' ears off. Don't resign yourself to the same fate that your mouldy colleagues have long accepted years ago. Embrace the internet. Stop boredom at meetings. Yes.
(Via Deviant Art).

3. Privacy Filters.

Have you ever logged onto Facebook during a meeting and felt like all eyes in the room had suddenly been drawn to your screen?
(Via Screen Crush).

Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. Luckily, my wonderful IT colleagues at the bubble tea company that I work for recently issued one of them fancy privacy filters to each of us! Gone are the days when people beside me can see what I'm putting into my cart on Forever 21. Now, people sitting next to me will just think I have great imagination - to be able to entertain myself endlessly whilst staring at a seemingly blank screen.
Life in meetings has never been better. The only drawback is that you may be a bit skeptical over the prowess of your privacy filter and be hesitant over checking all your social media/ updating your shopping carts. My advice to that is - Don't be a wuss. NO ONE CAN SEE IT BUT YOU. 

Unless someone is sitting directly behind you of course. Then, my advice to you is to bring a pullover.
(Via 3M).

4. Snacks.
(Via Meme Maker).

Because man cannot survive on water (or coffee) alone. You need snacks to keep yourself going during long meetings. Because you know, empty stomachs tend to growl and this makes things embarrassing and awkward for yourself. So! It's always a good idea to raid the office pantry before your meeting starts and stock your blazer pockets full of your choice snacks. Here's what I stash in mine!
Dear Mr Hup Seng, 

I don't know who you are, but thank you for coming up with such tasty crackers which I consume with much gusto at every meeting I attend.

Love, Jac.
Yes. And that concludes my meeting essentials. OH WAIT! One more.

5. Jacket/ Shawl.

There was once when I turned up to work on a Friday dressed like this because I was meeting Jason, Ness, Lyon and Pamos for a themed dinner that evening.
Twenty minutes after reaching work, I was called to go for this huge meeting. LUCKILY, I'm innovative. Here's what I threw together in 10 minutes! (Read more about it here!)
Yes. Jackets and shawls are really handy. They keep you warm and also make you look serious and presentable. Like you mean business. When you actually mean anything but that.

Okay and I've come to the end of my list of meeting essentials. And I realise that some of you might not be working yet. And you may be wondering, "How can I best prepare myself to face the working world?" Well, my advice is - STAY IN SCHOOL. You'd be able to pick up important skills which you will be able to employ at your future job.
(Via someecards).

And now let me leave you with a very good song by Waka Flocka.

❤ Jac.

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