Saturday, June 22, 2013

A List of Songs for the Haze.

Hello guys! So most of you might have noticed that the haze in Singapore is really bad. Like here is a picture of the view from my office ...

Hello guys!

So most of you might have noticed that the haze in Singapore is really bad. Like here is a picture of the view from my office three months ago as compared to the view three days ago.

Pretty big difference huh? And I took the one on the left at 6 pm when the skies were dark and the one on the right at 12 noon. When the skies are supposed to be bright and dandy with unicorns jumping from cloud to cloud.

Anyway, some of you might know that I'm quite apathetic when it comes to issues such as the weather/stock market/life in general, so I didn't really give much thought to the haze until I woke up the next day with a running nose. And then I heard that the PSI had reach "hazardous levels". And then it was announced that the PSI had reached an all time high of 401!

And that's when I decided, "Hey, you know, actually I should be thinking of getting a mask."  No such luck. Here's a picture of the queue to get masks at the pharmacy at Alexandra Retail Centre. MADNESS.
Yes, I pano-ed it but it didn't turn out very well because annoying people kept rushing in and out of the queue to snap photos of it. (Like me). But here's a better one that I took and instagrammed.
Yes, and I know that this picture is better because NOW, it's shared on the Channel NewsAsia Facebook page!

And this is the story of how one of the photos I took is now on SGag.

But I digress. The point, and I do have one, is that the haze situation has warranted a blog post on good songs to listen to during this troublesome period. And here are my recommendations!

1. Sean Kingston - Fire Burning


SOMEBODY CALL 911, SHAWTY'S FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCE FLOOR
(And the forests also, this fire) Anyway, this is a very apt song. Because clearly there must be some serious fires burning for the haze to be so serious in Singapore. Sing it and emphasize the part which goes "I GOTTA COOL HER DOWN" (the "her" refers to the forests in Indonesia).

2. Maroon 5 - Harder To Breathe

IS ANYONE OUT THERE COS' IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO BREATHE
It's true and you know it. You can no longer strut around the sunny streets of Singapore like you own it anymore. What you can only do is to scurry around with your head down at a very controlled pace - not too slowly to minimise the amount of time spent in the toxic air, and not too quickly so that you won't have to take in more air than necessary. It's a delicate balancing act, this breathing has now become.

Also even if you do have one of them fancy N95 masks, a respirator, of a space suit, breathing is still a challenge as you know, the air in those things is stuffy, stale and smells funky. So, yes. Sing this song and answer the question the song poses. That no, there's nobody out there as it's becoming increasingly difficult to breathe.

3. Britney Spears - Toxic



Don't you know that you're toxic?

Now I know that this song is about a girl who's addicted to an intoxicating guy. But we can pretend that the guy in question is the haze. And that we are sick of this haze and that we have given up hope of it ever going away. So we embrace it instead. Sing with me now!

"YOU'RE TOXIC I'M SLIPPING UNDER, WITH A TASTE OF A POISON PARADISE, I'M ADDICTED TO YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M TOXIC??!"

Anyway, nothing is completely bad. You can't deny that the haze does come with fringe benefits such as legit excuses not to exercise, bosses asking you to work from home, and finally having that fool-proof way of hiding that pimple on your nose/chin/cheek.
This is Nessie and her mask. To illustrate my point that a mask can cover your nose/chin/cheeks. She is just being concerned for her well-being of course, and does not have pimples on her very good face.

4. Jordin Sparks Feat. Chris Brown - No Air


Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air? Can't live, can't breathe with no air.
I think this is the most lyric-appropriate song of the lot. Because of the sky-high PSI (see what I did there?) Many of us keep complaining about how smelly the haze is, and how it's suffocating us. Yes. Suffocating. Want to die. No air. Listen to this song people. It connects with you. If you have someone whom you got together with during these dark times (pun intented), you may want to consider making this song your couple song. (I assume people do this. I never have. Possibly why my relationships have never worked out so far. Because I never insisted on having a couple song. How myopic of me.)

5. Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry


Everything's so blurry.
This song is very emo-angsty but I guess you still can sing it. Because you know, the haze has made everything so blurry. And you're angry with it. You hate the haze. You want to go outside and run and jump and use your phone will crossing the road. But you can't because everything has been covered in a cloud of smoke. How to cope with this anger? Let me teach you. Sing it with me now! LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
"CAN YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY?
CAN YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY?
WELL YOU SHOVED IT IN MY FACE,
THIS PAIN YOU GAVE TO MEEEE."
Yes. That's right, your anger towards the haze? Channel it to this song. SHOUT IT ALL OUT. Sing out all your negative emotions so that what remains in you is clean and pure. Have you done that? Great! Now. On the count of three. Ohmmmmmmmm.
Okay! And that's my list of recommended songs to sing to lift our spirits in this hazy weather. But you know, if you're more of the hip-hop kinda person then might I recommend that you buy this album by the wonderful Mr. Worldwide himself. It's awesome.
(Via Wikipedia).

Oh wait. Before I leave, I'd like all of you to sing this song with me. Because I heard that rain is the solution to make the haze go away.

Sting - Desert Rose


Now, I have no idea how to sing 95% of the song, but the important part goes, "I DREAM OF RAIIIIN-AY-AY-EE-AY-AIINNNN". Who knows? Since modern technological marvels like tweeting for help hasn't helped in bringing the rain hasn't worked as of yet, maybe older more traditional ways such as rain dances might work better. And this song was catered for the desert. So, it should be quite effective you know, the people in the desert would surely know the best ways to get the skies to open up and rain down on us.

Speaking of rain (and also because I like Pitbull), I'm going to leave you with just one last song. It's good. I promise.


Cheers!
❤ Jac.

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