Saturday, April 13, 2013

It's colder than Siberia.

Hello everyone! Now, I really don't really know why people say "It's colder than Siberia." I've never been to Siberi...

Hello everyone!

Now, I really don't really know why people say "It's colder than Siberia." I've never been to Siberia. But you know, Siberia is often the point-of-comparison that people use to illustrate complain about (in Singapore we complain, not illustrate) how very cold we are.

(Via Mickeleh).

Apparently this is the case for people in Seattle, Los Angeles, and the UK too. Oh and for this person in Korea. And it's really sad you know, because I don't know any one who has been to Siberia who can help to verify the truth in these allegations on Siberian temperatures. SURE, Wikipedia claims that Siberia is in the running with Russia and the Republic of Sakha to claim the honour of being the official "Pole of Cold", but the Wikipedia page on Wikipedia also says that
"Wikipedia's open nature and a lack of proper sources for most of the information makes it unreliable".
So we really can't trust this Wikipedia's claim on cold Siberian temperatures very much. And I'll just continue  this post in my usual credible manner. With my sweeping statements and stereotypical claims. Which are representative of a large majority of the global population. In my opinion.

BUT I DIGRESS. You know what's really cold? MY OFFICE. My office is a freezer. And I know that freezers are really cold because I have one at home. It does an excellent job at keeping my ice cream frozen at all times. My office is so cold that I keep two blazers, a shawl, and a jacket in my cubicle at all times.
This is me in my cubicle at Gong Cha. I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt. I have a jacket draped on my chair. The pile of black cloth to my right is my shawl. It is not wrapped around me because I was trying to act cool and poser for this photo. My blazers are hidden from view behind the shelf thing at my head level. But I must admit that sometimes the blazer and the shawl is there to help me out of awkward situations (see: accomplishments).

And apparently, it's really cold in Nessie's office as well. And my handsome friend's office also. And many other peoples' offices. But I digress again. The point of this post is, I need a big furry pet. Let me illustrate why.

Case in point ONE: Princess Jasmine 

(Via Ruth's Study).

So I guess all of you know that Princess Jasmine lives in Agrabah. I don't really know where that is, but Disney Wiki (which is totally separate from Wikipedia) says that that's located near the Jordan River. And we all know that Princess Jasmine lives near a desert because Aladdin could walk to the Cave of Wonders.
(Via Ruth's Study).

So in the desert, the temperatures can drop to like, -3°C at night. This is just about as cold as the temperature in my office. However, unlike me, this Princess Jasmine can still prance around in her midriff baring top. AND I KNOW WHY. SHe has a tiger to keep her warm.
(Via Ruth's Study).

Can you see how very happy she looks when she is with Rajah? She is so very happy because his body heat is shielding her from the blistering cold that is the temperature of the nearby desert. This is of course, really important.

Case in point TWO: These very big dogs
(Via Daily Mail).
(Via MindJunker).

It's clear that these dogs are big. They are HUGE. Any bigger and they'll have their own gravitational field with moons orbiting around them. And I can imagine that they are a hassle to bathe and all. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I find it such a chore to pull myself out of bed to bathe. Can you imagine trying to wake this hairy deal up and pulling him to the bathroom if he didn't want to? And even if I did get him to the bathroom, WHERE DO I START TO CLEAN HIM?!! THERE'S FUR, ALL OVER. OMG.
(Via 1funny).

But you know, you can't deny that all the dog owners in the picture have this look of contentment and satisfaction on their faces. Some might even call it elation! And none of them look the least bit cold. So I think if i get one of these humongous dogs, I'll never be cold at work, and my productivity would increase because of my constant state of elation and enthusiasm towards my work.

Case in point THREE: Christian the Lion
(Via The Guardian).

Now I'm sure most of you have already watched the video of Christian the Lion. You haven't? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WATCH IT NOW.

Yes. I need a lion in my life so that I can create some similarly touching moments in my otherwise emotionless and listless life. And to keep me warm in the office of course.
(Via Bootsnall).

ANYWAY! Back to (one of) my original point(s), yes. This is why I need an extremely large pet. I mean, apart from keeping me warm in the office, my large pet would also bring countless of hours of joy to my life. Furthermore, they would be so very helpful in keeping my stress levels down. I can imagine my pet lion, Simba, growling at my boss whenever he decides to approach me to unload some work onto me. What a useful habit that Simba will be able to bring to the table.

My pet lion will also benefit the rest of the company. Every year's D&D theme will go along the lines of "Safari", "Africa", "Wildlife", and "Lion King" and Simba and I will man the photobooth and allow nice people to pose for pictures with him. You see, this will mean that the D&D will not waste precious time trying to think of new and creative themes every year. As we will have a lion. A LION. Come on. Nothing can beat that.
Except for a unicorn. Sorry unicorns, I wasn't thinking when I typed that out.

In conclusion, I need a very big and furry pet so that it can accompany me in the office and protect me from the cold. It has nothing to do with me feeling lonely and sinking into the dark chasms of depression and thus needing a Registered Emotional Companion à la 2 Broke Girls.

I'd like to end my post of with a good song on um, Africa.

And a quote.
“Even in Siberia there is happiness.”
― Anton Chekhov
Enjoy your weekend!
❤ Jac.

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