Friday, May 18, 2012

What I won't do for a living.

Hello! Yesterday one of my friends signed a contract with MOE to become a teacher. A TEACHER. What a good profession and also something th...

Hello!

Yesterday one of my friends signed a contract with MOE to become a teacher. A TEACHER. What a good profession and also something that I will never ever be. If i decide to quit my gong-cha shaking job one day to become a teacher, I give you my full permission to kill me by clobbering me on the head. With a coconut.

Please and here are some reasons why I will never become a teacher.

1. MY SOCIAL MEDIA.

SOCIAL MEDIA, IS MY LIFE. It is like, really my life. Without social media, my life will have no meaning and I will be an empty shell. Please, do you see the banner on my blog? It says "Coffee. Clothes. Twitter." Because Twitter is so important to me, I feel like I have to include it in my banner even if it means forgoing the pleasant alliteration of "Coffee. Clothes. Coke." or "Coffee. Clothes. Cash.". Also I think the social media illustration is very cool! I got it off the freebies section of Land of Web.

I love my social media. At my present job, I can check my Tweetdeck as often as I please (within reason la), I can listen to trashy hip-hop from YouTube as I work, and best of all, part of my job entails that I monitor Facebook, Twitter and other platforms for you know, gong-cha controversies and all. HOW MUCH BETTER CAN THIS POSSIBLY GET FOR ME IN TERMS OF SOCIAL MEDIA?!! (Also you must understand that I like to do my own social media thing. I don't have to be in a big PR firm where I actually manage accounts. TROUBLESOME.)

2. KIDS.

I mean they can be rather cute. Case in point chokchok and yawyaw. Whom I still think about on occasion.
I really would flood my blog with more photos, but I don't have anything apart from my Instagrams with me now. BUT REALLY, these kids. They are either cute, or freaking annoying. I don't know how many times I shouted at chokchok because he "lost"[his book], "forgot" [to do his homework] or [needed to go to the] "toilet"! Please. It took my 3 weeks just to train him to wash his hands after visiting the toilet. Also there was one lesson where he kept running to the toilet every 5 minutes or so. So when he asked for a fourth time, I said "NO!" And he kept whining and whining for the longest time. So eventually I went "Finish this page then go." So he rushed through the page and then dashed out of the room. Five minutes later he came back and went "I poo-poo in my pants!"

CAN YOU IMAGINE MY HORROR. I WAS LIKE, DAMN SHOCKED OKAY. Luckily, his mother had already like, cleaned him. And she understood that it was his stupid fault for continually running out of the room. CAN YOU IMAGINE, what an unreasonable parent might have done/said to me?!!! I cannot handle the stress that comes with a classroom of screaming kids.

3. RESPONSIBILITY.


As all of you know I am like a very responsible individual. I mean I make sure I participate in fulfilling and wholesome activities.
Oops wrong photo. I mean.

And I like doing things that enrich my mind and I make sure that you know, my work is presentable and all. BUT BEING A TEACHER IS DIFFERENT. You not only have to ensure that you are good, and neat and clean and tidy and limit your singing of trashy hip-hop songs to the confines of your head, but you ensure the same behaviour is consistent with FORTY SCREAMING, JUMPING AND WHINING KIDS.

I cannot do this. I can barely contain my excitement when I listen to a new Pitbull/Flo Rida song. I must bob my head and learn the lyrics as I listen to the new song on loop. In the days following that, I must sing the song in caps on Twitter and smile to myself as I do so. Maybe sometimes mouthing the words to myself as I type. It takes me a lot of will-power to not burst out into song. This being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to enforce similar behaviour in SO MANY KIDS WHO ARE ONLY THINKING OF FUN.

I will be responsible for so many kids. You know, once, yawyaw was fiddling with his tooth and his tooth came out. Now, in hindsight, a responsible adult would have told him to rinse his mouth and what not. And keep the tooth in his bag, take it out later on and focus on doing his work.

What did I do?
Yes. I asked him to smile and take a photo. Because I am responsible like that.

Of course, I ensured that they did their work, I came on time, sometimes stayed to teach them till 11pm because their exams were coming and all that. But I also had the freedom to wear shorts, sit cross-legged, help them download apps on their iTouch and so on. But this will not be possible in a class full of children okay.

This being said, teachers are very good people and I truly admire good teachers. Like my JC teachers. My chem teacher in J2 was AWESOME. Also my GP teacher added me on Facebook and called some of my classmates and I "crazy alcoholic" in a photo. Also my bio teacher was not bad. Also my maths teacher was pretty funny.

(Oh also I have no patience and I would surely scold everyone all the time. And I don't like people who throw up or get sick or cry.)

ANYWAY. Here is a good video shared by my new teacher friend. As she is going to be a teacher she is surely good and this video must be educational in some way.

I feel that the moral of the video is um, animals are cute and loving and we should love them and learn to show love to one another.

And here is a cute picture to end off my post.
Goodbye everyone!

❤ Jac.

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